Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Top Ten Most Common Injuries Sustained By Law Students (And What Causes Them)

14. Blindness or poor vision – from reading cases.

13. Sore feet and leg cramps – from running to the library every day to study.

12. Sore throat and upset stomach – from swallowing all the garbage your professors and the administration expect you to.

11. Hand cramps – from too much writing.

10. Deafness or poor hearing – from listening to bullshit in classes.

9. Sharp, stabbing pain in middle of back – from being stabbed in the back by fellow students.

8. Paranoia – from fear that you: missed a deadline, are running out of money, will be called on in class, won't find a good job after law school, shouldn't have gone to law school, might be caught for murdering that professor, etc.

7. Chapped lips - from kissing asses.

6. Liver pain and deterioration – from drinking to excess.

5. Headaches – from consciousness.

4. Elbow pain – from "elbowing" your way to the head of the class.

3. Back ache or pain – from lugging around so many thick, heavy casebooks.

2. Insomnia – from fear that your citation to the Satanic Bible might not have been appropriate or correctly done.

1. Insanity – from law school and/or wanting to be a lawyer.