Monday, March 31, 2008

Long Weekend

Had a fun weekend chock full of board games.

[Incidentally, and ostensibly, as per the wonderful world of Google, the word(s) "board game" are not, in fact, usable as "boardgame," contrary to my usage to date. Mildly annoying since, in my exceedingly humble opinion, the word(s) "boardgame"/"board game" could be interpreted as a compound word or as an adjective and noun. I think I shall retain my usage in the face of... ummm... idiocy?]

Friday, I hit ConnCon and played until 1:30am. Taught Glory to Rome to one player that afternoon. I was back on Saturday at 11am and played 'til 1:30am, talking with the ConnectiCon guy until 2:30am. Back on Sunday at 10:30am, played until 7pm (with +1 hour break for the closing ceremony).

Afterwards on Sunday, I hung out with boardgame.girl at her apartment. We played 2 games and spent about an hour just talking. Made plans to meet up tonight and tomorrow night.

Before this weekend, my week looked fairly clear with only my weekly Wednesday RPG. Now, I'm seeing boardgame.girl on Monday and Tuesday and I was invited to a smaller Thursday boardgame group. Busy, busy, busy.

On top of that, I didn't feel too well this morning. Only 5.5-6 hours of sleep each night for the past 3 nights plus questionable and intermittent eating this weekend. I suspect I'll be fine once I have some real-ish food in me (i.e., after lunch, I hope). [After lunch, I do feel a bit better. Still tired and yawning, but better.]

I'm looking forward to tonight. We're planning on getting some food. Beyond that, could be more games, could be a movie, who knows! I'm getting a good vibe from her. It seems like we both like hanging out together – playing games and talking. She laughs at my jokes, I laugh at hers, etc.

My problem now, at this juncture, is what to do next. I hate all the metagaming and how slow these things go, but then I inevitably screw it up in some fashion, even if only by underestimating how fast I should go. Which invariably leads to me questioning my instincts and/or the questions themselves. The ensuing self-doubt and lack of confidence reinforces all of the previous. It's a vicious cycle that's taken years to perfect and, in fact, constitutes a metagame within the metagame.

Don't ask me to even attempt an explanation/translation of that last sentence.

So I suppose we'll see what happens. How I feel, how she acts, what we do, what transpires, the metagame within the metagame. I'm game.

Hmmm. I wonder if I'm misinterpreting her body language and nonverbal signals. Or perhaps I'm not. Is there a "good" way to decisively learn? I keep forgetting to try some mirroring, though I suspect I do some unconsciously, regardless. Man, I stink at this, largely due to inexperience, I think.

In any case, further updates as events warrant.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Friday Woots

I am in a good mood today!

Leaving work a little early for ConnCon. Teaching one game, playing others. Boardgame.girl will be there later on.

Got a decent night sleep and feel somewhat better for it. (Wednesday night was relatively late, on top of Thursday's non-earliness.)

Heck, I even said "Have a nice day." to the cute girl who works on my floor. (Occasionally see her around, never said anything to her. She looks Russian/Eastern European and has an accent.)

Nothing super-critical is due today at work (afaik).

I may have a slight overdose of caffeine right now (I get twitchy and my hands shake a bit), but I'm sure lunch will fix that (food or non-coffee drink usually does).

I'm really in a good mood. Let's see if it lasts.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Saturday

Hung out with some law school friends at an annual Holy Saturday fest that a family has. I could explain that better but I won't. Had a great time. Always fun to see friends. Afterwards, went to Greenwich and hung out with some of them a bit more.

It's a little funny. I don't hang out with any of them on a regular basis - 2 couples because they live a distance from the area. 1 couple, well, there's no good reason since they only live about 25 min. away from me. Have to try and meet up with them in a week or two.

Side note - J recommended that I ask boardgame.girl out bowling rather than to dinner. Sounds like good advice to me. More casual, more relaxed, more in line with the boardgame playing to date. I think I'll take his advice and try it.

Most/all business are closed today. I'm at work right now, hoping to get 1 item done. At least I have some frozen meals here. No one else is here. I like coming in to work on Christian holidays.

It's a small pet peeve of mine that the U.S. celebrates some Christian holidays as national holidays, but no holidays of other religions or faiths. I realize some of that is because there are so many Christians that the business would effectively be closed anyways, but it just doesn't feel right to me, and certainly doesn't feel like a separation of church & state. (For a broad reading of the term, perhaps.)

In any case, I like coming into work on Dec. 24 or such. I feel empowered. Plus, I feel like it helps balance for the occasional day I take for a Jewish holiday. I don't take them often, and most of the time it's more like a Saturday/Sunday that I don't come into work for, but it's a working theory.

Well, time for me to eat or work or do something else.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Last Night

..was a late night.

Met up with boardgame.girl about 10:45 at a localish coffee place. We played 2 games there, until midnight when it closed. I followed her to her apartment, where we resumed boardgame playing. In total, 3 games of Race, 1 Blue Moon City, 1/3 Galaxy Trucker and 1 Glory to Rome. I left at 4:45am. Like I said, a late night.

T'was a lot of fun! The part I particularly enjoyed was when we stopped playing Galaxy Trucker in the middle. I'd finished explaining the rules (took longer than I expected) when, for some reason, we didn't start playing. Instead, we got to talking - about books/authors, movies, theatre, etc. Learned a bit about each other. That part, which lasted quite a while, felt like a relaxed date. We share the same taste in books and movies, though she's more well-read than I am and I'm more well-watched (movie-wise, probably TV-wise too) than she is. It's fairly well balanced. We have many similar interests, similar tastes. It was pretty cool.

The only downside, and it's a minor one barring repetition, was that she kept receiving and answering texts on her phone. I haven't seen her do that at a boardgame meetup and she professed it was very unusual for her, so a minor thing.

I can also sense a small rift based on income. She's a starving artist, I'm a patent agent. I'll have to watch that - if/when we do go out, I'll have to try not to wine & dine too much. Make it more occasional, more low key. Ditto on purchases, or at least on relating all my procurements (which are more numerous than they should be). More and more, this is making me think that I have it really good with my job and income, much more so than I appreciate.

Quick note. This location seems to be more of a temporary gig for her. She tends to move around a lot, from theatre to theatre, as she has shows to do. This summer, she's going to be in MA. This upcoming week, she's on Long Island. Her current show in Fairfield County is ending at the end of March, which means she'll have more free time coming up, at least in early April (rehearsal schedule instead of show schedule - means free nights instead of free days). This also means I won't see her again until next Friday, boardgaming at ConnCon.

So my current "plan" (as it were) is to send her an e-mail about what movies she'd like to borrow from me and plan on seeing her on Friday night. At that time, ask her if she's coming back to the Con on Sat. or Sun. When I do see her that last day/night (or maybe before), ask her if she'd like to go out for dinner some night in the first week of April (possibly stating "on me" or "my treat" or such). I don't have a restaurant in mind, maybe I'll think about possibilities this week, have some options going in. Hopefully she says yes and we go from there.

Incidentally, haven't told her yet about my living situation. That will come, at some point.

I know what I'm about to write next doesn't really mean anything because until she says yes to a real date there's no hard evidence, but I'm going to write it anyways. Why? Maybe because I'm hopeful. Maybe because I like to remain optimistic. Maybe because.. I really don't know for sure and I want to grasp and hold onto any shreds of alleged evidence, real or imagined. Besides, it keeps with my regular pattern for how these things go.

Good signs: Exchanging phone numbers. Agreeing to meet up (just us) for boardgaming. Meeting up for boardgaming rather spontaneously. Going to her apartment at midnight to continue the games. Talking for a bit without boardgaming. Similar interests and tastes, including sense of humor.

So we'll see what happens. Stay tuned, intrepid readers, when next week we discover if she'll *gasp* go out on a date with me! (Keep your fingers crossed!)

Friday, March 21, 2008

This Week In Brief

Work this week: Monday, good. Tuesday, better. Wednesday, less good. Thursday, less good. Friday, very less good.

I suppose I could have written "worse" rather than "less good." Pfft.

So tonight is a coffee place meet with boardgame.girl, the idea being that we're meeting up to play a boardgame of choice (Race for the Galaxy!). At worst, we meet up and play the game. At best, we meet up and don't play the game.

Be thankful – I rewrote the previous sentence to eliminate unnecessary innuendo and prevent confusion. I had originally written: "At best, we meet up and play the game."

I have no idea how this is going to play out.

Incidentally, and somewhat amusingly, when e-mailing her I had to use my real, quasi-official Gmail address (the one on my resume). This is because the e-mail address I regularly use for communicating with friends is somewhat unique. I think all search results for it (at least for Google) lead to me. It's not that the search results are bad or such, but rather that they can lead to this blog, a dating website profile, message board posts, etc. ("Things I don't want her to be able to easily locate just yet.")

A few minutes ago, my boss came into my office inquiring about an action. Fortunately it's one that I've actually been diligent on. *Whew!* Another bullet dodged.

So my head is clearly random and unfocused today.

This weekend! Meeting up with law school friends Saturday for Holy Saturday party (an annual event for JB's parents/family). Yay! Haven't seen them in about 6 months. Sunday, may go up to Hartford to meet up with movie.girl. Need to call her again about rescheduling from Saturday. If it happens (likely?), we'll catch Spiderwick Chronicles on Imax.

Last night I met my mom's boyfriend. He... is a bit older than I anticipated. I mean, I know how old my mom is (and she's no [something that is very youthful]), but the guy has all gray hair and.. looks old. I didn't talk with him or any such. They got back home about the time I was going to go upstairs to bed (literally at that time – had I gone up 5 min. earlier...), so I said goodnight and went up. Felt a bit weird. Another reminder that I need to move out, perhaps?

I've been putting off the moving out bit until I settle down more with work. Clearly work is still a concern and hasn't improved as much as it needs to. I'm not in the fire (yet), but I may easily be there (again) in the very near future. I also have my appointment in early April, though it will be at least a few weeks before anything comes of it (if, indeed, anything does).

Wednesday night this week, instead of our VtR RPG session, we helped playtest a game expansion with the designers. Very fun! I hope I'll get a chance to play more of it.

Next week should be fun. ConnCon is Thursday-Sunday and I'll be there boardgaming at least on Friday-Sunday. The Wednesday RPG group may be the VtR campaign or more playtesting. Who knows? Those events do mean that I should be working my arse off on Monday & Tuesday. I'm planning on taking a semi-half day on Friday to go to the con. I believe boardgame.girl will be at the con at some point (though with her crazy schedule, who knows when).

I think that's everything. Hopefully this afternoon will be much more productive than this morning. Hopefully tonight will be fun and enlightening. If anything interesting happens this weekend, I'll likely post about it at some point. Cheers & Happy Easter!

BONUS ITEM: Just glanced at my work e-mail inbox. We (the associates) have a 30 min. meeting this afternoon with the junior partner to discuss our workload. We're to bring a list of what we have that's overdue. That is *so* not good for me.

ADDENDUM: Apologetically canceled the weekend plans with movie.girl. I really need to get some things done at work. She was weird on the phone - uncharacteristically quiet and short. Have to call her next week.

Was a chance of a last minute gaming session with others tonight. Not enough takers.

May try to grab a nap before tonight's main event. I know I'm going to be a bit tired, but naps rarely re-energize me. Ah well, worth a shot. Besides, we'll be at a coffee place. Wish me luck! [7:05 PM]

Thursday, March 20, 2008

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

So tonight I'm meeting up with boardgame.girl for some boardgaming. Rather spontaneous as I'd called her to see if we could meet up on Monday (which is negative due to a forgotten show/commitment for her). Not sure where we'll be meeting up, she has a show tonight but is done around 10pm. I doubt there are any good places to meet at that time of night. However, she offered her apartment/house if need be (she has a roommate). I'll be getting a call back after she asks a friend about local places.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Mind running in circles. Race, race, race. Run, run, run. What if, what if. Race, race, race. Stop. Pause. Breathe. Race, race, race.

*stop*

Calm. Calm. Relax. CALM. Pause. Slow down. Calm.

*breathe*

Better. So, ummm... yeah. Okay then. First non-group meeting, admittedly for gaming. I suppose we shall see what we shall see.

ADDENDUM: Spoke with her around 5:45. We're meeting up tomorrow (Friday) instead of today. She had her days mixed up. (Friday is better for me.) That is all. (Except for the AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH.) Oh yeah, we're probably going to meet up at some quiet bar or other. Not sure if gaming is still the major goal in view of the venue. Will see when I get her e-mail tomorrow. (7:34 PM)

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Another Friday, Another Week

Another fun-filled Friday of boardgaming. Played lots of games. When boardgamer.girl showed up, I made sure to play games with her. Spent the rest of the nice playing Race, with her at first then with others too. In the end, I asked her if she wanted to meet up to play some games (Race) and we exchanged phone numbers. Her schedule is mildly insane (theatre) so it's unlikely we'll meet up before the 24th. I'm kinda hopeful. Wonder if I shouldn't ask her out-out after/when we do meet up. Hafta see. All the same, phone number is a good step.

For work, this week was.. not so good. Didn't accomplish nearly enough. Slipping again into a bad way. Need to dig myself out before I'm fired. I don't think I realize how good I have it.

Time for sleep. This weekend is hopefully laundry + clean playroom + see movie (Doomsday? The Bank Job?) + go into work (Sunday) and be productive. G'night all!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

More Random Thoughts

Played two boardgames tonight. Fun fun!

Had a semi-random thought on the way home. One problem I have with liking a girl (i.e., asking her out, etc.) is that I'm not entirely confident that I like her for being her versus liking the idea of liking her. It's a little confusing but bear with me.

I've been single for the vast majority of my life. Most of the time I wish I was dating someone/in a relationship. My last girlfriend (2nd year of law school), well, I wasn't actually attracted to her. (I found that out a little too late.) In addition, none of the girls I've dated have been lookers - I'm also generally attracted to a few/some non-lookers. So, in view of all that, I'm often not confident that my attraction is to the person vs. the idea of the person, the idea that it's someone I could potentially date.

I bet most people don't think like that.

So even before I ever ask the girl out, I'm doubting my motivation and rationale for wanting to do so. Yes, that's self-defeating. No, I don't know where I picked it up.

ANYWAYS, I think I'll try asking boardgame.girl out for coffee (or gaming) on Friday night (assuming I find the opportunity to do so in relative not-so-publicness). Why not, eh?

Sunday, March 09, 2008

A Fun Weekend

Had a nice relaxing weekend this time.

Friday night, played boardgames at a friend's house. Finally got to try out Tannhauser, one of mine that I've been itching to play. Not a terribly late night, only 11:30pm or so.

Saturday, all-day boardgaming at University of New Haven. Played 7 games and had an awesome time! Also got to play another unplayed one of mine, Khronos. Also got to apologize for it due to the finickyness in the learning. All told, spent about 12 hours gaming. Good stuff.

Sunday, lazy day. Saw Jumper in the theater. (Ugh.) Otherwise, relaxed and started catching up on a few things (including this post).

On Saturday, saw the girl I mentioned in Monday's post. Will nickname her "boardgame.girl" for now (keeping in theme with movie.girl and gamer.girl - the actuary's fiancé). I.. Yeah, I sorta chickened out. Probably could have asked her if she wanted to get some coffee (or meet up to play a game or two) but I didn't.

I was thinking today, I have 2.5 reasons why I didn't. (1) I'm scared shitless. (2) I've only met her twice now (known her 1 week). (2.5) I don't want to drive her away from the boardgame group(s). Incidentally, that's also the order/priority for them.

And yet.. She laughed at all the stupid, little things I joked about and I mean all (at least a few times, she laughed and no one else did or we'd look at each other and just start laughing for a no good reason). I played 3 of my 7 games with her (or vice versa, whatever). She's a nice person and I have the distinct impression (notion? idea? guess?) that we have things in common, at least sense of humor and favorite games. *shrug* She's also into theatre (and I am, somewhat).

Anyways. She'll be at this upcoming Friday's boardgame group. Maybe I'll have the cojones to ask her out to coffee. Haha. Hah. Ha? Maybe? Man, I stink at this.

Ugh.

Anyways. Oh yeah, my mom is off having dinner with her.. ummm.. friend. I can't bring myself to say "boyfriend." *shudder* I haven't Googled him yet or done any research on him. I call that.. either imprudent or.. being good. I haven't decided yet. I did do "research" on boardgame.girl, btw. I also Googled myself to see if this blog came up. Thank goodness, no. Only certain searches will get here. There are some much more famous people out there with the same name as me. Yay. (One works or worked at NASA!)

Also btw, this past week wasn't so hot for work. I got my stuff done, but I didn't get enough billables in. Bad of me. I really need to fix that but my head is getting messed up again (and I can't cite a cause/source, just is). Need to try harder or some such. One month to head appointment.

Cheers & Happy Daylight Savings!

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

A Tuesday

Yesterday, my boss came into my office (as he often does, once a day) to check on my docket printout for the day. He mentioned a few items, and I had good answers for all of them. That felt good.

Today, same thing, only the single item on my docket is an overdue office action. My response: "I've got office actions up the wazoo. I'm working on it." Yeah, not nearly as good an answer.

Today, my attention span feels stunted again. Slow to begin work, hard to stay focused. I'll easily hit 5 billables, but I really need to be hitting 7+. Not good.

Some days it just feels like hitting 7 is very difficult for me. I don't know why. I've wasted at least 1:30 today unnecessarily, getting sidetracked and such. So not good. I had a brief period of good focus, but now--POOF!

Part of it may be my sleep habits? I need to get more sleep at nights. Lately I've been living on 6 hours. I keep thinking I'll go to bed at 10pm, but it hasn't happened yet.

Well, 5:50 today. I got 2 overdue office action drafts out so that's good. Not enough (ha ha), but good. I'd continue with more only it's 6:34pm, I'm a bit tired and my concentration is shot to shit.

Today at least, I hate my job. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Just Another Manic Monday

Busy weekend.. sorta. I was out boardgaming Friday night and most of Saturday (1pm-1am). Tons o' fun.

Work is going.. okay. I did well last Monday-Wednesday. Thursday was a half day due to my regular doctor's appointment. Friday was.. pitiful, largely due to the partners treating us to lunch at Bertucci's. Sunday I got nothing done (ugh). And today wasn't too bad, 5.5 hours billed. Not amazing or even passable, but far from horrendous. I need to pick things up from Tuesday on if I'm going to make it.

This is a busy month for me weekend-wise. Lots of boardgaming on the horizon plus a chance to meet up with old law school friends, some who I haven't seen in 6 months. Time flies when you're working.

No contact with movie.girl yet but it's only been 1 week. I figure that at the worst I'll send her a birthday present in April and see what happens. Devious, I know.

I s'pose I'll say something here if for no other reason than I always, always fly off the handle about these things. There was a girl at the Friday night boardgaming who.. caught my eye. It's a little funny 'cause movie.girl has repeatedly asked if I meet any girls at these things and I always say no, that's not why I go. (And it isn't.) But there was a girl at one this weekend..

See, this is where my lack of socializing screams in my face. I go nutso crazy for no reason at all. My mind spins in a chaotic rush of nothing as the motor revs to the redline. I think that sentence had at least 3 metaphors in it. To wit: I am clueless about women. Always have been. Never had much practice or ability. I tend to get by on raw courage and fortuitous luck, and that's not saying much. I know I can be witty and charming, but can I date? I've never been able to satisfactorily answer that question (which means no).

See, it's one girl who I've only met once and already it's a.. a.. thing in my head, gnawing at my higher thought processes. I am so bad sometimes that it's amazing.

Another funny observation - she's not all that attractive (i.e., classically) but I know that I find her to be great. For no good reason, she reminds me a little of my college girlfriend. Hmmm. I don't see anything wrong with that per se because she also appears to be smart and witty. Ended up playing 3 games with her. She's a worthy adversary and a fun gamer.

And there's the added goal of not wanting to come off as creepy. It's not that I honestly have to try (to not be creepy, that is), but that I tend to see things from many perspectives. For example, I don't want to drive her from the boardgame meetup by an unwanted advance (i.e., if I did actually ask her out). That would just be wrong and could possibly end with some backlash for me (outside chance at best).

I know I'll probably see her again at these things. I managed to play it "cool" on Friday, so I'll likely just attempt the same in the future and not do anything. I rarely do anything. Probably just rely on luck and fortune to lead me wherever I'm going or not going.

Part of me wishes that this time, just this one time, I'd grow a pair and do what I should do. Too bad I really don't have a clue what this is or means. I don't. So I let the winds of fate buffet me around. Fate, she is a cruel mistress.