Monday, March 03, 2008

Just Another Manic Monday

Busy weekend.. sorta. I was out boardgaming Friday night and most of Saturday (1pm-1am). Tons o' fun.

Work is going.. okay. I did well last Monday-Wednesday. Thursday was a half day due to my regular doctor's appointment. Friday was.. pitiful, largely due to the partners treating us to lunch at Bertucci's. Sunday I got nothing done (ugh). And today wasn't too bad, 5.5 hours billed. Not amazing or even passable, but far from horrendous. I need to pick things up from Tuesday on if I'm going to make it.

This is a busy month for me weekend-wise. Lots of boardgaming on the horizon plus a chance to meet up with old law school friends, some who I haven't seen in 6 months. Time flies when you're working.

No contact with movie.girl yet but it's only been 1 week. I figure that at the worst I'll send her a birthday present in April and see what happens. Devious, I know.

I s'pose I'll say something here if for no other reason than I always, always fly off the handle about these things. There was a girl at the Friday night boardgaming who.. caught my eye. It's a little funny 'cause movie.girl has repeatedly asked if I meet any girls at these things and I always say no, that's not why I go. (And it isn't.) But there was a girl at one this weekend..

See, this is where my lack of socializing screams in my face. I go nutso crazy for no reason at all. My mind spins in a chaotic rush of nothing as the motor revs to the redline. I think that sentence had at least 3 metaphors in it. To wit: I am clueless about women. Always have been. Never had much practice or ability. I tend to get by on raw courage and fortuitous luck, and that's not saying much. I know I can be witty and charming, but can I date? I've never been able to satisfactorily answer that question (which means no).

See, it's one girl who I've only met once and already it's a.. a.. thing in my head, gnawing at my higher thought processes. I am so bad sometimes that it's amazing.

Another funny observation - she's not all that attractive (i.e., classically) but I know that I find her to be great. For no good reason, she reminds me a little of my college girlfriend. Hmmm. I don't see anything wrong with that per se because she also appears to be smart and witty. Ended up playing 3 games with her. She's a worthy adversary and a fun gamer.

And there's the added goal of not wanting to come off as creepy. It's not that I honestly have to try (to not be creepy, that is), but that I tend to see things from many perspectives. For example, I don't want to drive her from the boardgame meetup by an unwanted advance (i.e., if I did actually ask her out). That would just be wrong and could possibly end with some backlash for me (outside chance at best).

I know I'll probably see her again at these things. I managed to play it "cool" on Friday, so I'll likely just attempt the same in the future and not do anything. I rarely do anything. Probably just rely on luck and fortune to lead me wherever I'm going or not going.

Part of me wishes that this time, just this one time, I'd grow a pair and do what I should do. Too bad I really don't have a clue what this is or means. I don't. So I let the winds of fate buffet me around. Fate, she is a cruel mistress.