Thursday, October 14, 2004

Top Ten Reasons Why The Mongol Hordes Will Not Be Invading My Law School

Thanks go out to my friend Captain Kate of the 5th Armed Bucket Brigade for her help in coming up with Top Ten List Topics. (And apologies for the day delay!)

15. Since they're not "Native Americans," they know they can't use our campus to establish a casino.

14. Don't want to sully themselves by having contact with "lawyers."

13. Their Articles of Incorporation forbid it.

12. We've already filed a restraining order against them.

11. They're afraid of our campus security officers.

10. They're afraid of our librarians. (Roar!)

9. It's not worth the hassle of the inevitable resulting lawsuits.

8. Since we're a state school, they know we could and would call in the National Guard.

7. We have nothing they want. (We're not high-priced attorneys yet.)

6. They think Hartford is too much of a dump.

5. They fear our mad legal writing skillz.

4. They'd be breaking the Mongoloid Peace Treaty of 1922.

3. They know we would win. (Motivated law students hyped up on coffee and armed with case law and sharpened pencils are a fearsome bunch!)

2. They've already had their lawyers write us a strong letter.

1. They pity us.