"Just step up to the altar, lie down and close your eyes. I promise you won't feel a thing."

Under the category of "Things You Should Probably Not Do With Your Kids."

CNN: Couple planned to 'sacrifice' children:

ROCHESTER, New Hampshire (AP) -- A woman and her boyfriend are accused of plotting to sacrifice the woman's three children on a church altar.
...
Police said Mancini told them that Jesus sacrificed himself for her, so she was going to sacrifice the boys to free her soul.
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Mancini's attorney, Kimberly Shoen, said her client meant the children no harm.

"They were never tied to the altar, there was no blood, there were no constraints for sacrificial use," she said.

Excellent defense. So if I don't actually begin taking the literal and final steps to kill someone, then I've done nothing wrong whatsoever. ::Sigh:: If only it actually worked like that.