Friday, June 29, 2007

The Lawyer - Date #2

Hot on the heels of Tuesday night's Date #1, I met up with The Lawyer earlier tonight for Date #2.

She called me around 11:20am and we planned on dinner (sushi). She called me back around 4-4:15pm and asked if I was interested in some circus show in New Haven. I said sure and we moved sushi up to 5:30pm to catch the 7pm show.

Met up for sushi in Milford. She drove us up to New Haven for The Big Apple Circus, a weird one-ring circus show that hearkens back to the turn of the century. Odd acts but very entertaining. On the way back, we stopped at a strange, nearly-empty carnival outside the former-Connecticut Post Mall in Milford. Then we said goodnight around 9:50pm or so.

It was a thoroughly fun time. We both laughed quite a lot. I can make her laugh rather easily and she fires it right back. It's just plain fun. There was almost no awkwardness, no awkward breaks in conversation, almost no breaks at all.

It ended kind of awkwardly. I probably should have kissed her. I know it ended earlyish but I was fading anyways. Long day. I think this one scares me because I don't know what I want and, hence, what to do. I don't know if I want this and I think I'm scared to make any decision (not that one has to be made right now, but all the same). Could also just be me being me. I am awful about these things.

I suspect a third date will be forthcoming. If her sister doesn't come back from college, maybe we'll meet up on Sunday. If not then, I'm sure we'll get together next week. I just wish I knew what I wanted.

Brief Update on The Doctor and The Lawyer

No news is good news (sort of).

The Doctor: Spoke with her on Monday, planned a second date for Saturday. We're going to see Michael Moore's new movie, Sicko, probably down near me. (It's playing in Fairfield.) I'm calling her back tonight to set time, place, etc. I suggested the movie knowing of her interest in healthcare and her liberal leaning (i.e., pretty far left).

The Lawyer: Tried calling her Wednesday night (no answer). Left a message for her Thursday night. She left me two messages later Thursday night. Spoke with her today (around 11:20am) and we're meeting up tonight for a second date fraught with sushi (if a date can be said to be fraught with sushi). No clue if we'll do more than sup on raw fish, but I suspect we will (as in a movie or walking or the mall or something).

Incidentally, the message game with The Lawyer was because I don't get cell phone coverage at home (at all), so I leave my phone off at home. When I called her, I was calling from the mall and from work. She called me back when I was at work since my message said I get coverage between 8am and 6pm (i.e., at work).

I'll report back after each second date.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Lawyer


PRELUDE: We exchanged a few e-mails starting less than 1 week ago. I contacted her first. She asked me if I wanted to get dinner in her first reply.

REPORT: We met up at a brewery and talked for over 4 hours.

REACTION: Wow. I... I think there's a connection here. We like the same books, movies and music. We have the same interests. We laughed at each other's jokes. We were sharing all sorts of things, from personal to non. It was fun. I didn't even know the time had passed. I know hindsight is halcyon, but it was just a good time, good conversation. I think we were mirroring each other (e.g., actions, posture). Afterwards, I felt like I was dazed, stunned. I still feel that way a little now. Shocked, too. She's... If you don't know what you're looking for (per se), how do you know you've found it? I... Somehow, after only a few hours of talking, it felt like we were already good friends. It's... hard to describe.

A couple times since the date, I've thought back to the first dates of mine that ended up as relationships. This felt like one of those.

After my last relationship, I know I need to watch myself a bit and not come on too strong (per se). Should be easier to avoid since I'm working full time and have a few regular activities (tennis).

I haven't (directly) told her about my living situation yet. Regarding that, I'm a little dubious about the coaching I received. Now, on a second date, I need to break the news (so to speak)? May be a little difficult. Though I didn't lie, would never dream of it on a first date (or any other, for that matter). Have to think about that a little.

FOLLOW UP: We exchanged phone numbers at the end. I'll give her a call tonight and see if we can meet up on Friday, Saturday or Sunday.

THINGS I LEARNED: What a good (if not phenomenal) first date can be like. And they can be fun (as opposed to dull). (!)

I want to see this woman again.

I think I need to cancel the Saturday rendezvous with The Doctor and just end that one.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

A Monday in Time Lapse

(N.B. Long post ahead. You have been suitably warned.)

Last night's sleep was very restless. This morning's work is very slow. I feel somewhat itchy and warm. I hope the A/C is working correctly though I fear it isn't. Part of me honestly can't believe that I have two dates within a few days of each other. In fact, The Lawyer originally wanted to meet up on Sunday night for dinner. I begged off saying that this weekend wasn't good for me. In actuality, I didn't want to have two dates in one day. I know that I wouldn't have concentrated as much on the first, knowing that the second was coming. Plus I would have felt some pressure of a timetable. Better to separate them. Even so, this whole thing is blowing my mind. Even though I haven't spoken with her yet, I get the sense that The Doctor would meet up with me for a second date. I'm not use to non-rejection. The invention I'm working on now is staggeringly ugh and my mind is mildly numb today. I'm not use to having a life or a "busy" schedule.

[time lapse]

I just remembered – I wanted to note that on Saturday, while I was driving up to Hartford to meet up with movie.girl, I was completely content. I was driving to meet up with a good friend and hang out. I had a date scheduled for the following day (The Doctor). I had another date scheduled for Tuesday night (The Lawyer). I had played tennis that morning and kicked much ass (and taken many names and chewed much bubblegum). At that place, at that moment, I was happy.

That's not to say I'm unhappy per se now, just that it was a moment of complete contentment.

Incidentally, I just spoke with a coworker. We're going to catch a movie on Wednesday night, either 1408 or Evan Almighty.

[time lapse]

Via Wikipedia, I learn that Sixpence None The Richer broke up back in 2004 and that the lead singer, Leigh Nash, released a solo album, Blue On Blue, in Fall 2006.

[time lapse]

This morning, I was listening to "Lakini's Juice" by Live. Need to remember to add some of those song lyrics to the quotes page and/or subtitle:

It was an evening I shared with the sun
To find out where we belong
From the earliest days
We were dancing in the shadows

[time lapse]

Someone's car alarm is going off outside. I hope the thief disables the alarm soon. It's pretty annoying.

[time lapse]

I bet The Doctor would want to go see the new Michael Moore movie. I don't particularly care, but I would gladly see it if she wanted to. Hell, I would recommend the idea because of that. Must remember. (I'm going to call The Doctor tonight and try to set up a second date.)

Incidentally, does a coffee meeting count as a "first date"? (I'm thinking yes.)

[time lapse]

Oh. That's interesting. A coworker-friend gave his two weeks notice on Friday. He's going to work in-house for Sikorsky (down the street, literally) doing a variety of IP-related things including government licensing. Said he's been doing patent prosecution for 10 years and has had enough.

Wow. Que interesante.

And just last Wednesday, I was joking about who would be the next person to leave the firm.

[time lapse]

Someone's daughter is helping sort files or box them or some such. Whenever I see someone like that, my reaction is two-fold. First, inevitably, is the thought "ooh, she's cute" rapidly followed by "hands off like plutonium." I figure the first isn't too horrible given the second.

Incidentally, the "hands off like plutonium" is from a Bloom County comic where Steve Dalls takes someone's daughter to her prom. The statement is emphasized with a fist waved in his general direction.

Also incidentally, a long time ago I received the best compliment I could ever get. I was working as staff at a Cub Scout Day Camp at the time, and at the end of one week a mother (also on staff) told me that she was going to give me the best compliment she could – something along the lines of if her daughter were older, she (the mother) would want her daughter dating someone like me.

[time lapse]

It's warm in my office. They turn off the A/C over the weekend. I'm learning that it takes a good day (until Tuesday) to cool off the individual offices. I estimate my office temperature to be around 72-74 deg. Fahrenheit.

A system thermometer in a coworker's office is showing 80. Yowch.

[time lapse]

Effing car alarm. Again.

[time lapse]

Effing car alarm. AGAIN.

[time lapse]

How to spell "omitted." Ah hah. Microsoft Word says I have it spelled correctly. Go me.

[time lapse]

Ooh, haven't been updating this as much in the afternoon as in the morning. Guess I've been busy.

[time lapse]

Posted a day late as our server was going down for maintenance.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Upcoming Second Date With The Doctor

I just spoke with The Doctor. (And yes, you are going to get updates whether you want them or not.) We're going to hit a movie and probably food on Saturday night. Location and time are TBD as showtimes for the movie of choice, Michael Moore's Sicko, are not forthcoming at this time.

The movie choice was my suggestion, based on her interests and such. Me, I'm game for almost any movie. (Heck, I even saw Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ in a theater.)

As for the second date, I'm also game. I'm hoping we both loosen up a bit and relax. Maybe we can see a bit more of who the other person is, get to some idle chit chat. I remain a little skeptical but obviously not too much so. I think I'm more hopeful than anything else.

Then again, I also have to see what Tuesday night brings. I'm holding out an idle hope that one of them turns out significantly better than the other. Otherwise... (I'll let the ellipses be my period for now.)

Sunday, June 24, 2007

The Doctor


PRELUDE: We exchanged around 4 e-mails starting less than 1 week ago. She contacted me first. I asked her if she wanted to get coffee.

REPORT: We met up at a coffee shop and talked for 3.5 hours, mostly about the usual resumé-ish type things.

REACTION: I don't know. She's nice enough and very smart. We don't actually have much specific in common - i.e., movies, TV, reading, interests, genres. However, I think I 'get' her. We're on similar wavelengths and, even if we don't have much in common, I think we understand each other. It's tough to glean that as yet, but there wasn't a big disconnect nor a complete non-relation. I don't think I felt any "spark" per se, nor that she did either, but there could be something there. In my opinion, it's worth at least a second date to see (but I'm patient like that).

FOLLOW UP: She gave me her phone number at the end (and I gave her mine, of course). I'll give her a call tomorrow and see if she wants to meet up for dinner &/or a movie this week/next weekend.

THINGS I LEARNED: The impact of the "living at home" is highly dependent on the woman. The Doctor understood it and could personally relate to it. I phrased it well and I don't think it's a big issue here.

As compared with my blind date, I connected much more with The Doctor. The blind date worked as a manager in a grocery store. The Doctor is a doctor. Not to say I couldn't date a non-intellectual, I just suspect I can better relate to intellectuals/professionals. I think we have more in common. For example, The Doctor and I could relate to one another by similar experiences in med school/law school.

It's probably worth it to go out of my way so that my date doesn't have to. For example, I traveled about 30 min. to meet up with The Doctor. She walked about 5 min. to get to our rendezvous. I think I got bonus points for that.

Dating Observation #1

Initially at least, dating is not just learning about the other person. It's also about dropping your guard.

I think I'm very guarded on a first date. I'm hesitant to "break loose" for fear of turning the other person off or scaring them away. I think most people are like that on a first date. For this reason, the few first dates I've had have been relatively stale, even interview-ish.

Seeing as I may have a second date on the horizon, if/when it occurs, I think I shall endeavor to drop my guard a bit and speak more of myself than about myself.

The Sunday Morning Report

Yesterday I hung out with movie.girl.. until 1am. We watched Josie and the Pussycats which was a surprisingly decent movie, possibly even good. We also just talked at great length. T'was fun, though I probably should have left sooner and gotten to sleep earlier than 2am. Ugh.

Incidentally, she gave me some advice about the living-at-home thing. I suspect that not following her advice will only be detrimental to my dating.

One thing she did for which I am not appreciative is that at 12:30am, when I was fading fast, she started digging at me, asking what I'm passionate about and what my goals are, providing the counter-example of her being very passionate about traveling and seeing new things.

I didn't have a good answer. Goals include marriage & children, but I've felt that I'm short one or two goals. I don't have any larger vision beyond the current situation and I never have. I've always tried not to let it bother me, but I can see how someone else (i.e., a date) might ask these questions and be unhappy with my answers.

So I think I need to solidify a vision of some sort. I have ideas but certainly nothing that's going to help me in 3 hours when I have coffee with 'the doctor.'

Last night, besides imbuing me with a minor headache, has also left me slightly less confident for today's coffee rendezvous. This is a *very* bad thing, one which I could have done without. I'll try to relax and regain some measure of the lost confidence, but I feel that may be beyond me for 3 hours' effort.

Other news - Another JDate connection! I'm having dinner with a lawyer on Tuesday night. I'll have to see how that goes.

Anyways, time to go. Must do my homework, as in rereading correspondence and printing out directions/a map. I'll try to report back later tonight regarding my rendezvous with 'the doctor.'

Thursday, June 21, 2007

The Minutiae

As previously mentioned, I have a coffee-date coming up on Sunday. This is my first real life meeting from an internet dating site and I am only minorly scared shitless, but I take that as normal for anything in the 'initial date' category.

I think my overall goal for this is to try and be relaxed and be myself. I have confidence that I can be charming and witty as long as I let myself (or as long as I let that part of me shine through). Most first/initial dates, I'm just so utterly scared and on edge that I tend to clam up or appear uninteresting. It's self-defeating, really... not that I've gone on so many first dates as to really figure them out.

One piece of advice I remember from a law school friend is to let the girl fall for me before revealing my deep, dark secret of collecting action figures. Which, by the way, if she's found this site and is reading this, is definitely one hobby I do not have. *ahem* I figure this is a very small point and, though it may further illustrate my particular form of insanity (or "charm" depending on context), it's unlikely to be a deal-breaker. Heck, if they're aware I'm a 'geek' from my various interests and such, it's not like that particular hobby (which isn't one of mine) should be a terrible shock.

There is, however, one little factoid that might be a deal-breaker, namely my current residence. I'm pretty sure I can provide a suitable explanation of why I am where I am, which is one reason I haven't--

Y'know, I think I answered my own question. I can't be afraid. I can't be afraid that my current residence is going to be a deal-breaker. I won't duck the question if asked and I am glad to explain. I honestly believe that it can be explained and -- (by the way, if the doctor is reading this, the secret is that I live at home, nothing too horrifying, really) – and that it shouldn't be a big problem. And I have to be confident about that, otherwise when it do explain it my explanation won't sound honest enough, even though it is.

I guess the only question then is when I should relate it if it doesn't come up naturally. I will be honest and part of me thinks that before the first date is over, I should explain it. I'm really not trying to hide it, I just know that it's a less preferable residence.

Hmm. I shall have to (briefly) ponder this more.

ADDENDUM: AAAAAHHHHH. I have a coffee-date on Sunday afternoon. AAAAAHHHHH. That is all. [8:36 AM]

Busy, Busy, Busy

I feel like I'm very busy this week.

Tuesday - Right after work, I saw DOA: Dead or Alive. The movie wasn't as bad as I thought it could or would be. (Which, I suppose, is a backhanded compliment of sorts.)

Wednesday - My regular doctor's appointment that had me miss a half-day of work. Right after work, I attended an intellectual property group's Lobster Bake. T'was a decent enough affair.

Thursday - I'm playing tennis tonight. This is with a new group, though since so many people can;t make it, the new group is primarily comprised of people I play with on Saturday morning. (Figures, right?)

Friday - Errr.. nothing special planned (yet), though I may catch a movie Friday night. 1408 and Evan Almighty open this weekend (though Evan Almighty has been claimed by movie.girl).

Saturday - Tennis in the morning. That afternoon/night, I'm hanging out with movie.girl. Not entirely sure what we're going to do. Possibly catch a comedy act at City Steam, but I want to see what else is "happening"/available.

Sunday - Coffee-date with someone I met on JDate. I find it terribly amusing that in less than one week on JDate I've managed to land a coffee-date. It's also minorly amusing since my coffee-date, let's call her "the doctor", and I have relatively little in common. Or at least that's what I've gathered from 3-4 e-mails. Even so, why not? Let's just hope I manage at least alright with this thing. (I'm already a little nervous, though I'm trying not to get worked up over it.)

So like I said, lots going on. For me, this looks to be the busiest week that I've had (in terms of non-work) for a long, long time. Cheers!

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Hello Again

I was going to write something here about this week & weekend but I'm too tired to make enough sense of what I write. However, and this is the odd (or odder) part - I'm not so tired that I not write a post entirely. And so you, my gracious reader, are treated to the half-awake meanderings that pass for muddling thinking in my head. And you are so treated, at least until I finish importing about half a dozen CDs into iTunes.

Well, you would have been so treated except my mind has since gone blank. Just utterly devoid of topic (other than the blankness itself being a topic). And so I must bid you adieu until such time as a coherent thought and post-writing happen to collide in a sense other than illusory or well-intentioned. And if that last bit didn't make much sense to you, please, do not despair. It didn't make much sense to me either.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007


I figured now would be as good a time as any to peruse the dating sites I'm registered with and see what's cooking.

eHarmony - Tons of matches, easily over 200 so far. Very few communications. No dates. Looked through the recent matches that haven't closed me, nothing interesting. - If I see one more woman who I would send a message to only I'M TOO FUCKING SHORT, I am going to scream. I am 5'6" tall. Apparently, this is lilliputian and I am doomed to wander the Earth alone. Religion? Fair enough. Age? Smoking? Drinking? Ethnicity? Fine. BUT HEIGHT? IF THE WOMAN IS 5'0" TALL, WHY DOES HER MATCH HAVE TO BE AT LEAST 6'0"?!??? Fer cryin' out loud. - Man, I just started poking around there for the first time in a long time and, wow. Those are my people. Those are people I'm looking to meet. *sigh*

Incidentally, I feel better after the last one. I think the first two may turn out to be complete wastes of money.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

In Which I Opine On A Variety Of Topics

We (my mom and I) have 2 Bichons (Bichon Frise). When asked to describe them I say that they are "small, white fluffy things with teeth." They are adorable when clean, which lasts anywhere from 1 hour to 6 days after grooming. They are white, though some have orange-ish patches of fur (I forget the "official" name for the coloring). Their cuteness is a defense mechanism. DO NOT BE FOOLED. With both of ours, it took 1-2 years for them to become nice dogs. During the first 1-2 years, each dog was a terror. I hear there is a Bichon rescue league. Why anyone would want to rescue these animals is beyond me.

Warren Ellis is an angry bastard. I think he takes some measure of joy in such descriptions of himself. He is also an incredibly talented writer. To date, as far as I know, most (all?) of his work has been in the comic book realm. He has a book, Crooked Little Vein, coming out this Summer. You should buy it, read it, then give Mr. Ellis more of your money. He may be a right bastard, but he is a talented bastard.

Today was showtunes day for me. I listened to the Evil Dead Soundtrack, Sunset Boulevard (1993 Patti LuPone version) and Evita (Madonna version). At the end of the day, I thought to myself that I should pick up a copy of Pirates of Penzance. I may have Oklahoma (Hugh Jackson version) lying around somewhere. The only other musical I can think of, that I've heard and vaguely remember, is Carousel.

My car stereo works fantastically. I can listen to my iPod while driving without losing my temper. In fact, this may be beyond fantastic.

I'm writing this post because I don't want to go to sleep yet (only 9:29 PM) but I also don't want to get into playing a computer game now (too late, too little time, sleepy).

I'm contemplating a year-long creative project. I don't want to go into detail, not yet, not here, but I think I may try it. I've figured out that, while I think I may be artistic in some respects, I am not an artist. I can't draw for shit. [Ed: Though why anyone would want to draw "for shit" is beyond me.] However, I love comic books and graphic novels and I would absolutely love to get "into the business," so to speak.

Generally, I'm not very happy with my current employment. It's good, steady money, but I don't enjoy it. Plus, my current job is about as good as it gets. I could move up the ladder or work on trying to make partner, but it's just not something I want to be doing. Hell, I'd be happier in comic book retail (although significantly poorer, I suspect). I don't know what I'm going to do about this, or when, but some day I will have to do something. I just have to.

Thus far, internet dating has failed to pan out for me. I have yet to even go on one date. Granted, I need to be more proactive and invest time searching on services. Well, I guess that really means that eHarmony has not worked for me thus far. *shrug*

I suspect I need a more go-and-get-'em attitude. In general, I mean, not just online dating. I often feel like a man without a purpose. I have no specific overall goals right now. Any goals are short-term ones, like "pay bills." I need a direction. Sometimes I feel like I may be waiting for something. For what, I don't know. But it's mildly frustrating, not the least because I recognize it and still fail to act. I'm frustrated with myself and, by extension, the world at large. I feel like I should be doing something else, I should be somewhere else. Somewhere that's not on my schedule.

Tired. Time to clean the floor (dog had an "accident") and go to bed. I'm rereading House of M these nights. I have new things to read but I like rereading previous ones. Hell, I have the Witchblade Compendium untouched (picked it up on sale and with a coupon). Ah well.

I contemplated putting together a recommended reading list here for favorite or all graphic novels of mine. I have tons of them. It's mildly obscene and getting worse on a regular basis. But I definitely have favorites and strong recommendations. Maybe I'll work on the list sometime.

Peace out.

ADDENDUM: I think the "official" name is apricot. [9:41 PM]

ADDENDUM II: I reread all my posts after they're posted. I'm an editor through-and-through. I'm also rather particular and occasionally detail-oriented. It's too bad this aspect didn't help me or come into play during law school. [9:44 PM]

Sunday, June 03, 2007

"I like the quiet."

Very quiet of late. Work, rest, work, rest, etc. Nothing interesting, really.

I've been playing Command & Conquer 3 (C&C3). Excellent real-time stategy (RTS) game.

On Friday, I had a new car stereo installed. I can now listen to my iPod in the car without screaming obscenities at a tape deck. This is a good thing. A very good thing.

Also on Friday, I picked up Heroes of Might & Magic V (HOMMV). Excellent turn-based strategy game. I think I like C&C3 better, or I'm at least more comfortable (and experienced) with the RTS style. Still, HOMMV is kind of neat. Don't know if I'll play it much beyond the initial push, though.

Started a book of Lovecraft short stories. Finished the first one tonight. Slow reading but incredibly good story-telling. I think I'm going to like this author, though the reading speed is a mark against him. I don't *need* a fast read, it's just easier. Then again, that a fast read also tends to imply reduced vocabulary and description so.. yeah.

I need to call up friends. I'm overdue for that, though I never fear I am too overdue since I would be wont to retort "why didn't you call me."

I need to pay my bills.

I have work tomorrow morning. Lately, I have not been going in on the weekend. I probably should, but I've been making my hours during the week and, though I have work that needs doing, I just don't feel like it.

I played tennis on Saturday morning. Outside. Good stuff.

The post title is from a Buffy episode, The Zeppo, one of my favorites. Xander is my favorite character, by far.

I have jury duty on Friday. I hope I get picked for a jury! (Seriously!) I want to serve on a jury - to see what it's like. Always have. Last time I was called for jury duty, it was the year before law school. No way I'd have been picked. Slightly better chance now since I'm not a lawyer (though I did go to law school). So we shall see.

That's all I've got. Cheers!