I know I've already harped on spelling and grammar as well as non-responsive answers, but I don't think I've extolled the virtues of reasons for closing matches early. And by "extolled the virtues" I mean bitterly complained.
I've said it before and I'll say it again:
Do not consider the stages of the eHarmony communication process as elimination rounds. View them as getting to know the person. Learn from them, do not reject for them.I've had a match close me out after sending my Must Haves/Can't Stands saying we're incompatible. (How would she know? We obviously weren't so incompatible so as to forbid her from sending me questions in the first place.) I've had a match close me after receiving my first answers saying she "didn't feel that the chemistry was there." I've had a match close me right off the bat saying she "didn't feel the chemistry was there!!!"
What's wrong with these women?!??? I don't get it!
Of course the chemistry isn't there, we just met!!!
Good lord, close me out for distance, for other, for some other random excuse chosen on a whim. Don't cite "chemistry" when there's no way of knowing before we meet!
Let me be clear – I'm not complaining about matches closing me. That I accept, no problem. If you want to close it, go ahead. But for goodness sakes, give me a BS "reason" other than chemistry. Chemistry is something we can determine in person. I'll take 10 minutes in person over 20 months on the internet – you can truly (and finally) sense chemistry only in person.
One of the questions on eHarmony is something along the lines of "When do you need to feel the chemistry?" The right answer, as stated on the eHarmony Blog (and I agree 100%), is "Within the first few dates."
DID YOU HEAR ME? WITHIN THE FIRST FEW DATES! Not seconds, not minutes, not words, not letters, dates. If we've never met, don't give chemistry as the reason for closing the match!
*pant* *pant* *wheeze* *sigh*
I'm sorry for the outburst, folks, but the inanity of it astounds me. Like the spelling and grammar mistakes, this isn't very hard. A word processor with spell check ("They exist?") or a simple moment of thought ("He sounds like an ass. I'll mark chemistry.") would do wonders.
Of course, the other side to this is my theory that these aren't elimination rounds but rather meet 'n greets. As far as I'm concerned, if the match is somewhat physically attractive to me and responds to my inquiry (or sends me an inquiry), I'll see it through all the way to meeting in real life, if at all possible. Everything between "hello" and "goodbye," for me, is simply getting to know the person. Barring the woman revealing she likes to hunt neighborhood housecats in her spare time (though that does sound like fun...), I'm game to see where the rabbit hole leads.
I only wish more eHarmony women thought a bit more and/or had an attitude like this.