Sunday, October 29, 2006

Random Quotes

With attribution where possible. [EDIT: I think I'm going to use this space for double duty, also listing here potential subtitle quotes for the blog's header. The current subtitle quote will be changed as I see fit.]


"Randomness is the spice of pumpkin donuts." -- me (10/29/06)

"If it isn't abundantly clear by now, I have no idea what I'm doing." -- me (10/29/06)

"I have not yet begun to [e-mail women in a mildly desperate attempt to meet someone]!" -- me (10/30/06)

"Patents, patents everywhere and not a drop to think!" -- me (10/30/06)

"There's always the hope of something better." -- me (10/31/06)

"I've generally done what I have when I could as it's come and that's how I've gotten to where I am." -- me (10/31/06)

"If the worm has displeased you, Dark Lord, why do you not smite him with your fiery vengeance?"
"Stop worshiping me!"
-- Ugly Hill by Paul Southworth (10/31/06)

"May you live to be a thousand years old, sir." -- Joe Versus the Volcano

"Ok, before we go in, let's go over some ground rules. No pantsing, no biting, no putting stuff in your nose, and no trying to convince people you are the Grim Reaper." -- Ctrl+Alt+Del (11/03/06)

I do not regret the things I've done but those I did not do. -- Empire Records

I'll try (almost) anything once, twice if I like it. -- me

"Sometimes all you want from life is a cup of coffee and to hold the hand of a certain special someone." -- Hugh MacLeod, gapingvoid

"It amazes me, the will of instinct." -- Nirvana, "Polly"

"Curiosity hasn't killed me yet." -- kimma

"You live and learn. At any rate, you live." -- LoxofDoubt

"Picture yourself in a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies." -- The Beatles, "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"

"Curiosity may have killed the cat, Schrödinger only killed half of it." -- From this Wikipedia page (no attribution provided)

"The hills are alive with the sound of monkey." -- Get Fuzzy (11/14/06)

"It will be in the key of delicious." -- Get Fuzzy (11/14/06)

"If the price matters, you're not a true gamer." -- User Friendly (11/15/06)

"Depriving the American public of my talent is letting the terrorists win." -- Get Fuzzy (11/15/06)

I will require a mindless drone to do my chores and free up my genius. -- Get Fuzzy (11/15/06)

"Fire in the poop hole!" -- Ugly Hill (11/15/06)

"Is this a 'neener-neener' situation or more of a 'Who's your daddy?'" -- Dilbert (11/16/06)

"Victory is mine!" -- Family Guy

Kiss my awesome! -- diesel sweeties (11/17/06)

"One-handed naked Tetris it is, then!" -- diesel sweeties (11/17/06)

"Why can’t I control the weather?" -- Ryan Sohmer, LICD (11/17/06)

"Society would show wisdom if it let me run things." -- Ryan Sohmer, LICD (11/17/06)

"My mind is a dark and scary place." -- Ryan Sohmer, LICD (11/17/06)

"Never bring a snake to a gunfight, I think the saying goes." -- Lowering The Bar (11/16/06)

"What is the universe whispering to you?" -- Post Secret (11/19/06)

"You haven’t achieved equality until you’re a legitimate target for humor." -- Scott Adams (11/20/06)

"I’ll be happy when society realizes that all humans are mentally fucked up, just in different ways." -- Scott Adams (11/20/06)

"I reduced my world view to 'people who are important' and 'people who are too stupid to be important.' Everything else is just scenery." -- Stuart Booth (Comment at The Dilbert Blog)

"I am all things tough. I am Bucky." -- Get Fuzzy (11/20/06)

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." -- C.S. Lewis

"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep." -- Scott Adams

"Unquestioned answers are far more dangerous than unanswered questions."

"If I had a tranquilizer dart every time I wanted one, there would be a lot of unconscious people in the world."

"We've got a blind date with Destiny, and it looks like she ordered the lobster." -- Mystery Men

"Smile... people will wonder what you're up to."

"Pigs CAN fly, if given enough thrust. But it's not recommended."

"Dance like it hurts, love like you need the money, work when people are watching." -- Dogbert

"We apologize for the inconvenience." -- Douglas Adams, So Long And Thanks For All The Fish

"Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make." -- Shrek

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas Adams

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." -- Douglas Adams

"Maybe the hokey pokey IS what it's all about."

"There are places within each of us that no one else dare tread." -- me (11/22/06)


"My name is Puggy and I live in a tree. I hope I didn't ruin anything for you." -- Big Trouble

"We're on a mission from G-d." -- The Blues Brothers

"Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away." -- Hitch

"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away." -- Hitch

"So how does it happen, great love? Nobody knows... but what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment you're enjoying your life, and the next you're wondering how you ever lived without them." -- Hitch

"Begin each day as if it were on purpose." -- Hitch

"I'm a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time?" -- Hitch

I'm a realist masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist. -- Hitch

"Are you for real?"
"I believe so." -- Kate & Leopold

"The brave are simply those with the clearest vision of what is before them - glory and danger alike and notwithstanding, go out to meet it." -- Kate & Leopold

"Marriage is the promise of eternal love. As a man of honor I cannot promise eternally what I've never felt momentarily." -- Kate & Leopold

"I'm the Milky Way Man, and I know everything!" -- Addicted to Love

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void." -- You've Got Mail

"The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino." -- You've Got Mail

"When you read a book as a child, it becomes a part of your identity in a way that no other reading in your whole life does." -- You've Got Mail

"People do really stupid things in foreign countries." -- You've Got Mail

"I get around as nature intended: in a car." -- French Kiss

"The key to French waiters: If you're nice to them, they treat you like shit. Treat them like shit, they love you." -- French Kiss

"It is so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to talk." -- When Harry Met Sally

"You know, I have a theory that hieroglyphics are just an ancient comic strip about a character named Sphinxy." -- When Harry Met Sally

"Its amazing. You look like a normal person but actually you are the angel of death." -- When Harry Met Sally

"When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side." -- When Harry Met Sally

"The fact that you're not answering leads me to believe you're either (a) not at home, (b) home but don't want to talk to me, or (c) home, desperately want to talk to me, but trapped under something heavy. If it's either (a) or (c), please call me back." -- When Harry Met Sally

"Destiny is something we've invented because we can't stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental." -- Sleepless in Seattle

"Don't let your brain interfere with your heart." -- I.Q.

"It was like death - but in a good way." -- I.Q.

"I would rather be an optimist and a fool than a pessimist and right." -- I.Q.

"If you had had a nickel for every nickel that he has, you would have a lot of nickels." -- I.Q.

"Jefe, would you say I have a *plethora* of piñatas?" -- The Three Amigos

"Well we really don't have a plan B. We didn't expect for the first plan to work. Sometimes you can overplan these things." -- The Three Amigos

"Wherever there is injustice, you will find us. Wherever there is suffering, we'll be there. Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find... The Three Amigos!" -- The Three Amigos

"Every great magic trick consists of three acts. The first act is called "The Pledge"; The magician shows you something ordinary, but of course... it probably isn't. The second act is called "The Turn"; The magician makes his ordinary some thing do something extraordinary. Now if you're looking for the secret... you won't find it, that's why there's a third act called, "The Prestige"; this is the part with the twists and turns, where lives hang in the balance, and you see something shocking you've never seen before." -- The Prestige