Take a cue from this guy and, at baseball games, "[don't] stand for God Bless America [] because [you don't] like the way they tied God Bless America and 9/11 to the war in Iraq in baseball."
Or, as I did, vote for Kerry.
Friday, January 28, 2005
The THL Yeti Meltdown
I may be a day or two late in posting this but the epic saga continues. (Also as reported by The Legal Reader.)
It began with this humorous post wherein THL (The Hot Librarian) related her gym encounter with a yeti-boot-wearing "man" named Roger.
Needless to say, her "incorrect" statement linking yetis to Antarctica (as opposed to the Himalayas) did not go unnoticed by Rufus (of Running With Lawyers fame) who pointed out the error in a comment.
Of course, THL responded in kind, leading to additional comments and additional meltdowns. (By the way, those are all links to specific comments so just read the whole line for the big picture.)
One might assume that by now THL is used to all this lawyerly attention to detail. Obviously not. By the time it's all said and done, one is left with a rather peeved (though hot) librarian. More specifically, a peeved (though hot), artistic librarian.
This of course means a follow up post by THL including some pictures of herself and one of Rufus. One can see THL learning the error of her ways as she thoughtfully includes all the background details that explain the various unique elements of her pictures. Little things such as a beagle named Elvis (decidedly not a basset hound; dog owner previously depicted here) and Rufus' man purse, tiara and knee pads indicate THL's position on the whole yeti-antarctica-polar-bear incident.
Subsequently, THL thoughtfully produced an MS Paint picture of Roger and his yeti boots. The supercharged tan and wrestling shirt certainly illustrate that this gym-goer is a "man's man" (if not a yeti-boot-wearing "man's man").
The icing on the cake comes from Rufus. A post of his formally announces the torrid love affair between him and THL. Thoughtfully, he includes a hand-drawn picture of his own showing himself, THL and their nice doggie. (Rufus is a sucker for the pups.)
At this point, it's difficult to tell who's the better artist, Rufus or THL. While THL seems to favor the computer-assisted pics, Rufus' homeschool drawing certainly expresses the growing love between these two blogophiles. (And his love of nice doggies.)
The latest item in this growing saga of love, redemption and yetis comes from THL's latest post wherein she not only opines on the wedding (date TBA) and her clothing selections for it (a Jurassic Park spitting-lizard-dress and a pair of pink and gray yeti-boots) but she also includes three documents Rufus sent her during their courtship. (And for the record, I'm not quite sure what Dylan did to earn her enmity and wrath. I'm sure he did something, I'm just not sure what precisely it was.) These documents (two short stories and a poem) clearly illustrate not only THL's dedication to her new-found beau but also why she should not be allowed continued access to a computer and/or the internet.
As you can see, this tale is not for the faint of heart. THL and Rufus' passionate affair stretches across the very bounds of civility. From yetis and polar bears to nice doggies, chickens, monkeys and disemboweled genatalia, this truly is a story for the ages. I can only hope that the love and ardor they feel sustains them in perpetuity. I wish them the best in their new life together and humbly request 15% of the gross profits from the made-for-TV movie that is sure to come. The Hot Librarian and The Yeti Lawyer: When Passions Collide.
It began with this humorous post wherein THL (The Hot Librarian) related her gym encounter with a yeti-boot-wearing "man" named Roger.
Needless to say, her "incorrect" statement linking yetis to Antarctica (as opposed to the Himalayas) did not go unnoticed by Rufus (of Running With Lawyers fame) who pointed out the error in a comment.
Of course, THL responded in kind, leading to additional comments and additional meltdowns. (By the way, those are all links to specific comments so just read the whole line for the big picture.)
One might assume that by now THL is used to all this lawyerly attention to detail. Obviously not. By the time it's all said and done, one is left with a rather peeved (though hot) librarian. More specifically, a peeved (though hot), artistic librarian.
This of course means a follow up post by THL including some pictures of herself and one of Rufus. One can see THL learning the error of her ways as she thoughtfully includes all the background details that explain the various unique elements of her pictures. Little things such as a beagle named Elvis (decidedly not a basset hound; dog owner previously depicted here) and Rufus' man purse, tiara and knee pads indicate THL's position on the whole yeti-antarctica-polar-bear incident.
Subsequently, THL thoughtfully produced an MS Paint picture of Roger and his yeti boots. The supercharged tan and wrestling shirt certainly illustrate that this gym-goer is a "man's man" (if not a yeti-boot-wearing "man's man").
The icing on the cake comes from Rufus. A post of his formally announces the torrid love affair between him and THL. Thoughtfully, he includes a hand-drawn picture of his own showing himself, THL and their nice doggie. (Rufus is a sucker for the pups.)
At this point, it's difficult to tell who's the better artist, Rufus or THL. While THL seems to favor the computer-assisted pics, Rufus' homeschool drawing certainly expresses the growing love between these two blogophiles. (And his love of nice doggies.)
The latest item in this growing saga of love, redemption and yetis comes from THL's latest post wherein she not only opines on the wedding (date TBA) and her clothing selections for it (a Jurassic Park spitting-lizard-dress and a pair of pink and gray yeti-boots) but she also includes three documents Rufus sent her during their courtship. (And for the record, I'm not quite sure what Dylan did to earn her enmity and wrath. I'm sure he did something, I'm just not sure what precisely it was.) These documents (two short stories and a poem) clearly illustrate not only THL's dedication to her new-found beau but also why she should not be allowed continued access to a computer and/or the internet.
As you can see, this tale is not for the faint of heart. THL and Rufus' passionate affair stretches across the very bounds of civility. From yetis and polar bears to nice doggies, chickens, monkeys and disemboweled genatalia, this truly is a story for the ages. I can only hope that the love and ardor they feel sustains them in perpetuity. I wish them the best in their new life together and humbly request 15% of the gross profits from the made-for-TV movie that is sure to come. The Hot Librarian and The Yeti Lawyer: When Passions Collide.
A Bell Run
That's what we use to call a late night trip to Taco Bell in college. The Bell was open 24-7 and the food there is incredibly inexpensive. ($1 for a normal burrito, $2 for a double decker taco supreme, our favorite value) Since then I have expanded the phrase to include any Bell trip.
Yesterday I had lunch at The Bell. One thought was that this was my second day in a row of having Mexican food for lunch. (Wed. lunch was at the local authentic Mexican restaurant, Monte Alban.) That got me thinking, in what lifetime could anyone ever mistake Taco Bell food for Mexican? Obviously we're dealing with a fast food entity. But how would you classify Bell's food? McDonald's, Burger King and Wendy's are all easy ones -- fast food burger joints. But if Taco Bell is not Mexican food, yet it is fast food, what kind of fast food is it? No matter the difficulty, I refuse to use the term "Mexican" in any description of Bell. That would be akin to calling me English merely because I speak English. Just wrong.
The one notable aspect of my Bell run was the chicken quesadilla I ordered and received. Tucked away inside the fold, amidst the cheese and pseudo-chicken, was a long strip of plastic. Yes, that's right, a piece of clear plastic. Shocked the Hell out of me. I briefly considered suing them then promptly discarded that notion and chose instead to merely tell the manager of my find. The sad thing is the story pretty much ends about there. I'd eaten most of the quesadilla and certainly did not want another. No other offer of appeasement was made. I went on my merry way. You can bet that I won't be eating at Bell again any time soon. Not that I eat there regularly or even mildly often but my Bell consumption can now be expressed "as x goes to zero, that being the number of recent Bell runs."
Yesterday I had lunch at The Bell. One thought was that this was my second day in a row of having Mexican food for lunch. (Wed. lunch was at the local authentic Mexican restaurant, Monte Alban.) That got me thinking, in what lifetime could anyone ever mistake Taco Bell food for Mexican? Obviously we're dealing with a fast food entity. But how would you classify Bell's food? McDonald's, Burger King and Wendy's are all easy ones -- fast food burger joints. But if Taco Bell is not Mexican food, yet it is fast food, what kind of fast food is it? No matter the difficulty, I refuse to use the term "Mexican" in any description of Bell. That would be akin to calling me English merely because I speak English. Just wrong.
The one notable aspect of my Bell run was the chicken quesadilla I ordered and received. Tucked away inside the fold, amidst the cheese and pseudo-chicken, was a long strip of plastic. Yes, that's right, a piece of clear plastic. Shocked the Hell out of me. I briefly considered suing them then promptly discarded that notion and chose instead to merely tell the manager of my find. The sad thing is the story pretty much ends about there. I'd eaten most of the quesadilla and certainly did not want another. No other offer of appeasement was made. I went on my merry way. You can bet that I won't be eating at Bell again any time soon. Not that I eat there regularly or even mildly often but my Bell consumption can now be expressed "as x goes to zero, that being the number of recent Bell runs."
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
A Snowy Morn'
The good news is that I didn't wear boat shoes while clearing off my car this morning.
More quasi-good news since morning classes were cancelled.
Quasi-bad news in that I forgot to check the snow line and learn of said cancellation before showing up to class. (There were four of us there including the teacher. Then one of us not being me called the snow line. Now none of us are in class right now.)
Weather.com has a prediction of 2-4 inches today. I think it will be more. We've already gotten at least an inch and there's no sign of it slowing.
I'll look outside at lunchtime but I doubt I'll be heading in to work this afternoon. It's not so much the bad driving weather as parking 10 min. away and having to walk to and from the office for 3 hours of work.
Don't forget! A new West Wing episode tonight!
More quasi-good news since morning classes were cancelled.
Quasi-bad news in that I forgot to check the snow line and learn of said cancellation before showing up to class. (There were four of us there including the teacher. Then one of us not being me called the snow line. Now none of us are in class right now.)
Weather.com has a prediction of 2-4 inches today. I think it will be more. We've already gotten at least an inch and there's no sign of it slowing.
I'll look outside at lunchtime but I doubt I'll be heading in to work this afternoon. It's not so much the bad driving weather as parking 10 min. away and having to walk to and from the office for 3 hours of work.
Don't forget! A new West Wing episode tonight!
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Buying Women's Underwear For Dummies/Men
This story, courtesy of Everything Is Dumb v4, is effing hilarious. I can easily picture the quandary this guy found himself in. Too hilarious.
Smelly!
If the smoker law student sitting near me reads this, please do me and my fellow non-smokers a favor by either: (a) not smoking immediately before class so you no longer come in and sit down amidst a cloud of ill-smelling smoke-odor; (b) find a faster and less smelly way to kill yourself; or (c) rub a pine-fresh deoderant all over yourself after having your cigarette so as to combat the offensive fragrance.
Thank you.
Thank you.
As the Gavel Strikes -- Chapter Three: Coffee
(Chapter One) (Chapter Two)
Laura drove Clark to the local coffee house in her shiny, red Jaguar convertible. Clark enjoyed the ride, the air streaming past, bringing him a bit closer to sobriety.
The local coffee house was a place called Tisane. No one was certain quite how to pronounce this name, whether it should be spoken "Tiss'-Ain" or "Tiss-Ahn'-Ay." To this day, the quandary persists, confusing its new clientele as much as the regulars.. except for those select few who like to think "they are in the know" and have some hidden insight into this mystery.
Neither Clark nor Laura thought they were in the know. If anything, both felt equally confused.
They strolled in through the doors, the warm, coffee-enriched air hitting them like a gentle summer breeze tied to a brick. Clark closed his eyes and took a deep breath, sampling the aroma as if to draw some measure of caffeine off the air itself.
When he opened his eyes, they immediately alighted on Marsha, sitting calmly in one of the plush chairs. She looked to be alone, no one accompanying her, only one cup of coffee on her table. Clark’s heart skipped a beat and his breath caught in his throat.
Laura had already proceeded to the counter and was in the process of procuring coffee for the two of them. When she had the two cups in hand, she turned around only to see Clark walking towards Marsha’s table. "Clark!" she hissed, trying to get his attention quietly. Clark didn’t seem to hear her as he slowly approached Marsha.
Clark opened with "Oh, hello Marsha."
"Hi Clark."
"Fancy meeting you here."
"Yes, fancy that."
An uncomfortable lull hung in the air. The silence between them was almost palpable, the tension as their eyes met disconcerting. It was as if, were you to look very closely, the air itself shimmered from the heat of their gaze, one of them sadly clinging to hope, the other well awash a wave of annoyance.
Marsha tried to move things along. "Well Clark, what is it? What do you want?"
"A second chance. Come on Marsha!" Clark was rather loud, nearly yelling.
Marsha responded in kind. "Is that it? Is that the extent of your argument? 'Come on Marsha?' Surely you can do better than that. You did well in Moot Court if I remember correctly."
"I don’t like to brag but I did get an 'A.' But that’s not the point. Marsha, we didn’t want for love. For kindness. For caring. Why won’t you believe me?"
"I do believe you, Clark. What we wanted for was passion. What you wanted for. And the irony is you only show it now that things are over. Clark, don’t ask again. I’ll not change my answer and you’ll only serve to make this more of a spectacle than it already is."
Clark attempted to surreptitiously survey the onlookers, noting how they immediately turned back to their newspapers, books or computers as his eyes alighted on them.
Lowering his voice a few notches, he responded, "fine, Marsha. But you’ll regret this. Mark my words, you will live to regret the day you tossed me away."
"Clark, at the moment I’m only regretting my choice of venue."
"Goodbye Marsha. Enjoy your coffee."
"Goodbye Clark." After he had turned away and taken a few steps, she muttered to herself under her breath "..and good riddance."
Clark stalked away from Marsha, clearly displeased with how things had gone. Observing Laura’s seat at a small table not too far away, he strode over and sat down opposite her.
"You heard." It wasn’t a question.
Laura sighed. "Yes. I tried to stop you from going over there."
"I imagine Marsha would have been grateful had you succeeded."
"Don’t be mad, Clark. It’s over. I knew that the moment I heard. Why can’t you move on? Why can’t you accept it?"
He leaned back in his chair, sipping at his cooling latte. "I know, but.. but I’m not done."
"Yes, you are. Move on, Clark. Get it together. Lounging around, drinking yourself further into despair, harassing her at the coffee house, none of that is going to help you." Laura drank some of her beverage, briefly pondering her next statement. "You’ve been grieving for three days now. Isn’t it time you start healing?"
Clark knew Laura was right. Marsha would never take him back. That was one of the things he respected in her. She made a decision, for better or worse, and stuck by it come what may. He glanced over at Marsha, seated four tables away to his right facing he and Laura. Marsha was looking down, involved in whatever book she was currently reading. He turned back to Laura, her expression one of patience, interest and some element of hope. Clark looked closer, wondering what the hope represented.
Laura stared quizzically at him. "What?"
"I.." He glanced back at Marsha and saw her looking unabashedly at his table, at him and Laura.
On impulse, Clark turned back, leaned across the table and kissed Laura.
Across Laura’s face various emotions vied. Confusion fled before surprise which retreated from happiness that became anger and resulted in fury.
Laura pulled back from Clark, aghast at his audacity. "The nerve!" Her right hand flew up, slapping him hard, forcing his countenance into one of utter confusion. Laura stood up quickly, nearly knocking her chair over. She took her purse and stalked out of the coffee house in quick, pressed strides.
Clark, still registering his surprise and confusion, glanced back towards Marsha only to see her chuckling to herself and smiling.
Laura drove Clark to the local coffee house in her shiny, red Jaguar convertible. Clark enjoyed the ride, the air streaming past, bringing him a bit closer to sobriety.
The local coffee house was a place called Tisane. No one was certain quite how to pronounce this name, whether it should be spoken "Tiss'-Ain" or "Tiss-Ahn'-Ay." To this day, the quandary persists, confusing its new clientele as much as the regulars.. except for those select few who like to think "they are in the know" and have some hidden insight into this mystery.
Neither Clark nor Laura thought they were in the know. If anything, both felt equally confused.
They strolled in through the doors, the warm, coffee-enriched air hitting them like a gentle summer breeze tied to a brick. Clark closed his eyes and took a deep breath, sampling the aroma as if to draw some measure of caffeine off the air itself.
When he opened his eyes, they immediately alighted on Marsha, sitting calmly in one of the plush chairs. She looked to be alone, no one accompanying her, only one cup of coffee on her table. Clark’s heart skipped a beat and his breath caught in his throat.
Laura had already proceeded to the counter and was in the process of procuring coffee for the two of them. When she had the two cups in hand, she turned around only to see Clark walking towards Marsha’s table. "Clark!" she hissed, trying to get his attention quietly. Clark didn’t seem to hear her as he slowly approached Marsha.
Clark opened with "Oh, hello Marsha."
"Hi Clark."
"Fancy meeting you here."
"Yes, fancy that."
An uncomfortable lull hung in the air. The silence between them was almost palpable, the tension as their eyes met disconcerting. It was as if, were you to look very closely, the air itself shimmered from the heat of their gaze, one of them sadly clinging to hope, the other well awash a wave of annoyance.
Marsha tried to move things along. "Well Clark, what is it? What do you want?"
"A second chance. Come on Marsha!" Clark was rather loud, nearly yelling.
Marsha responded in kind. "Is that it? Is that the extent of your argument? 'Come on Marsha?' Surely you can do better than that. You did well in Moot Court if I remember correctly."
"I don’t like to brag but I did get an 'A.' But that’s not the point. Marsha, we didn’t want for love. For kindness. For caring. Why won’t you believe me?"
"I do believe you, Clark. What we wanted for was passion. What you wanted for. And the irony is you only show it now that things are over. Clark, don’t ask again. I’ll not change my answer and you’ll only serve to make this more of a spectacle than it already is."
Clark attempted to surreptitiously survey the onlookers, noting how they immediately turned back to their newspapers, books or computers as his eyes alighted on them.
Lowering his voice a few notches, he responded, "fine, Marsha. But you’ll regret this. Mark my words, you will live to regret the day you tossed me away."
"Clark, at the moment I’m only regretting my choice of venue."
"Goodbye Marsha. Enjoy your coffee."
"Goodbye Clark." After he had turned away and taken a few steps, she muttered to herself under her breath "..and good riddance."
Clark stalked away from Marsha, clearly displeased with how things had gone. Observing Laura’s seat at a small table not too far away, he strode over and sat down opposite her.
"You heard." It wasn’t a question.
Laura sighed. "Yes. I tried to stop you from going over there."
"I imagine Marsha would have been grateful had you succeeded."
"Don’t be mad, Clark. It’s over. I knew that the moment I heard. Why can’t you move on? Why can’t you accept it?"
He leaned back in his chair, sipping at his cooling latte. "I know, but.. but I’m not done."
"Yes, you are. Move on, Clark. Get it together. Lounging around, drinking yourself further into despair, harassing her at the coffee house, none of that is going to help you." Laura drank some of her beverage, briefly pondering her next statement. "You’ve been grieving for three days now. Isn’t it time you start healing?"
Clark knew Laura was right. Marsha would never take him back. That was one of the things he respected in her. She made a decision, for better or worse, and stuck by it come what may. He glanced over at Marsha, seated four tables away to his right facing he and Laura. Marsha was looking down, involved in whatever book she was currently reading. He turned back to Laura, her expression one of patience, interest and some element of hope. Clark looked closer, wondering what the hope represented.
Laura stared quizzically at him. "What?"
"I.." He glanced back at Marsha and saw her looking unabashedly at his table, at him and Laura.
On impulse, Clark turned back, leaned across the table and kissed Laura.
Across Laura’s face various emotions vied. Confusion fled before surprise which retreated from happiness that became anger and resulted in fury.
Laura pulled back from Clark, aghast at his audacity. "The nerve!" Her right hand flew up, slapping him hard, forcing his countenance into one of utter confusion. Laura stood up quickly, nearly knocking her chair over. She took her purse and stalked out of the coffee house in quick, pressed strides.
Clark, still registering his surprise and confusion, glanced back towards Marsha only to see her chuckling to herself and smiling.
Top Ten Law Student Beverages
10. Coffee.
9. Fruit juice.
8. Coffee.
7. Water.
6. Coffee.
5. Diet Coke.
4. Coffee.
3. Alcohol.
2. Blood of fallen comrades.
1. More coffee.
9. Fruit juice.
8. Coffee.
7. Water.
6. Coffee.
5. Diet Coke.
4. Coffee.
3. Alcohol.
2. Blood of fallen comrades.
1. More coffee.
Monday, January 24, 2005
My Take on Ladder Theory & Intellectual Whores
I've been holding off on a follow up post on Ladder Theory (first mentioned here) because I've been trying ot organize my thoughts and reactions. At this point, I'm just going to let loose and see where it goes since I'm still pulling it together.
I know some people are confused about the theory and/or applying it. I don't really have anything else to add on this specific point. Really I just wanted to link up THL's posts and make fun of her for taking the whole thing so damn seriously.
The thing is, I like the theory on its most basic level. Guys and gals having two different scales (1 ladder vs. 2, respectively) makes sense and appeals to me on a very deep level. Soup's post was spot on, guys are interested in women and rank them on their ladder. Accurate statement no. 1. In this regard, specifically about the one/two ladders, the theory is good.
What bothers me are all the other minutae thrown in with the theory on the web site. As a male, I don't have insight into the women's rating system or its suggested breakdown. I simply have no perspective on that.
However, I do have perspective on the most controversial syllogism: Yes Virginia, They All Want to Bang You. Therein, the Ladder Theory author states: "IF A MAN FINDS YOU ATTRACTIVE YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS." After considering this point, I have to say I disagree. Personally, I'm friends with many women I find attractive. Yes, given the chance/opportunity I would sleep with them, but that's not the exact point of this ism and is where it fails. Just because a guy finds a woman attractive does NOT mean they cannot be friends. I see no precise reason why attraction must necessarily negate friendship. Attraction can complicate, confuse, conflate and destroy friendship but not necessarily rule it out. If that were the case, then, according to The Theory, I would have (almost) no female friends. Since I consider some females I know not only attractive but also friends, I offer this as evidence of the statement's failure.
As Poon put it: "Ladder Theory simply explains why your friends would bang you if they could. It does not mean that they're trying to bang you -- just that they would, if you gave them the opportunity." As I mentioned in a follow up comment to Poon's, "guys will 'take it to the house' barring a few, specific intervening situations (e.g. gay, seeing someone else "higher on his ladder," etc.). Do women think that their 'guy friends' wouldn't?" Therein probably lies THL's confusion (not to mention other women's confusion). Given the chance, your guy friends would probably sleep with you (barring the few exceptions). Q.E.D. Probably the most succinct, and accurate, corrollary to the theory.
[/End Ladder Theory Discussion]
At first I rather liked the explanation for intellectual whores. Now, I'm not so enthusiastic. The concept is predicated on the theory that men and women cannot be friends if the guy finds the woman attractive. Throw that out the window and the intellectual whores concept is gone too. What do you call someone with whom you like to converse and hang out? A friend. Do you "use" them for their mind? Enjoy bouncing ideas off them and discussing topics both of you find interesting? Of course! Does this make them an intellectual whore? Of course not!
I think the intellectual whore concept is only applicable if the guy honestly feels like he's wasting his time since he hangs out with the woman out of interest (i.e. sexual or relationship) knowing full well that she is not "interested" in him (i.e. he's on her friends ladder). In that case, they are not friends. The guy is there for a single goal that does not entail some sort of mutual, beneficial relationship. In that sense, their relationship is more parasitic than mutual and the guy is probably better off ditching things. HOWEVER, if the guys is cool with being friends (and JUST friends) then why not? Why must he be deemed an intellectual whore and feel like a friendship is not enough? That he should forceibly not be friends due to the disparity?
Speaking as a would-be intellectual whore, I can honestly say that if I feel like I can handle being friends with a woman whom I'm interested in but who is not interested in me, then fine. I'll hang out with her and be friends. Friendship is the antithesis of intellectual whoredom. And therein the intellectual whores theory dies a gruesome, but necessary, death.
[/End Intellectual Whores Discussion]
All in all, interesting theories. They certainly spark discussion and criticism. I think they also, in their own way, help illuminate various aspects of male behavior. Not every male acts in accord with every theory suggested but enough do that the theories are noteworthy. I encourage women to at least read and thoughtfully respond to the theories. Chances are, if you don't do so consciously, you'll do so later on when you encounter the theories' counterparts in your life. And you will.
I know some people are confused about the theory and/or applying it. I don't really have anything else to add on this specific point. Really I just wanted to link up THL's posts and make fun of her for taking the whole thing so damn seriously.
The thing is, I like the theory on its most basic level. Guys and gals having two different scales (1 ladder vs. 2, respectively) makes sense and appeals to me on a very deep level. Soup's post was spot on, guys are interested in women and rank them on their ladder. Accurate statement no. 1. In this regard, specifically about the one/two ladders, the theory is good.
What bothers me are all the other minutae thrown in with the theory on the web site. As a male, I don't have insight into the women's rating system or its suggested breakdown. I simply have no perspective on that.
However, I do have perspective on the most controversial syllogism: Yes Virginia, They All Want to Bang You. Therein, the Ladder Theory author states: "IF A MAN FINDS YOU ATTRACTIVE YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS." After considering this point, I have to say I disagree. Personally, I'm friends with many women I find attractive. Yes, given the chance/opportunity I would sleep with them, but that's not the exact point of this ism and is where it fails. Just because a guy finds a woman attractive does NOT mean they cannot be friends. I see no precise reason why attraction must necessarily negate friendship. Attraction can complicate, confuse, conflate and destroy friendship but not necessarily rule it out. If that were the case, then, according to The Theory, I would have (almost) no female friends. Since I consider some females I know not only attractive but also friends, I offer this as evidence of the statement's failure.
As Poon put it: "Ladder Theory simply explains why your friends would bang you if they could. It does not mean that they're trying to bang you -- just that they would, if you gave them the opportunity." As I mentioned in a follow up comment to Poon's, "guys will 'take it to the house' barring a few, specific intervening situations (e.g. gay, seeing someone else "higher on his ladder," etc.). Do women think that their 'guy friends' wouldn't?" Therein probably lies THL's confusion (not to mention other women's confusion). Given the chance, your guy friends would probably sleep with you (barring the few exceptions). Q.E.D. Probably the most succinct, and accurate, corrollary to the theory.
[/End Ladder Theory Discussion]
At first I rather liked the explanation for intellectual whores. Now, I'm not so enthusiastic. The concept is predicated on the theory that men and women cannot be friends if the guy finds the woman attractive. Throw that out the window and the intellectual whores concept is gone too. What do you call someone with whom you like to converse and hang out? A friend. Do you "use" them for their mind? Enjoy bouncing ideas off them and discussing topics both of you find interesting? Of course! Does this make them an intellectual whore? Of course not!
I think the intellectual whore concept is only applicable if the guy honestly feels like he's wasting his time since he hangs out with the woman out of interest (i.e. sexual or relationship) knowing full well that she is not "interested" in him (i.e. he's on her friends ladder). In that case, they are not friends. The guy is there for a single goal that does not entail some sort of mutual, beneficial relationship. In that sense, their relationship is more parasitic than mutual and the guy is probably better off ditching things. HOWEVER, if the guys is cool with being friends (and JUST friends) then why not? Why must he be deemed an intellectual whore and feel like a friendship is not enough? That he should forceibly not be friends due to the disparity?
Speaking as a would-be intellectual whore, I can honestly say that if I feel like I can handle being friends with a woman whom I'm interested in but who is not interested in me, then fine. I'll hang out with her and be friends. Friendship is the antithesis of intellectual whoredom. And therein the intellectual whores theory dies a gruesome, but necessary, death.
[/End Intellectual Whores Discussion]
All in all, interesting theories. They certainly spark discussion and criticism. I think they also, in their own way, help illuminate various aspects of male behavior. Not every male acts in accord with every theory suggested but enough do that the theories are noteworthy. I encourage women to at least read and thoughtfully respond to the theories. Chances are, if you don't do so consciously, you'll do so later on when you encounter the theories' counterparts in your life. And you will.
Subway's Jared
It's nice to see that Subway is still using Jared as a spokesperson. I mean, the fact that he lost a ton of weight (or 235 lbs., whichever is less) by eating at Subway never gets old. His zany antics and incredible tale just warm the Hell out of the cockles of my heart (See Dennis Leary's Asshole). How can you fail to be inspired by his story? ...That is unless he's been their spokesperson for so long that it's no longer interesting, amusing, inspiring or worth promoting to death. Not unlike those lame Geico Gecko commercials. Nowadays, more annoying than anything else. Annoying as in I'd-rather-red-hot-skewers-through-my-eyes annoying.
Man, I watch too much TV. But that doesn't include mornings between 7 and 9am, when Buffy is on.
Man, I watch too much TV. But that doesn't include mornings between 7 and 9am, when Buffy is on.
The Morning
My response upon checking the weather and learning it's 1 outside (knowing I'll be walking to school in ~30 min. or so): "Oh f***, it's cold."
I cleaned my apt. for a Saturday night soiree (aka fiesta, party, gathering) here. I'm always shocked when I do so and the place looks clean. Makes me wonder how I let it get so messy in the first place so as to necessitate an extended cleaning. It's also nice to look around at bare carpet and clean tables. It *looks* clean. Shocking! Yeah, so if you were in the Hartford area, I could invite you over now since the place is presentable. Pretty cool to be able to say that.
And in other news, it appears as though reports of a fixed dishwasher were greatly exaggerated. This is bothering me since I don't have any clean plates or silverwear. Plus I'm rapidly going through all my clean glasses. You know, the collection of beer-branded ones I picked up last year at the local pub. (That is, "picked up" as in "purchased as part of specials," not "procured with a five-finger discount.") I may have to start going back on Tuesday nights for more glasses. (Not that I really need them or have anywhere to store them. Then again, that doesn't stop me from buying DVDs or action figures so why should it stop me from obtaining more beer glasses?)
I cleaned my apt. for a Saturday night soiree (aka fiesta, party, gathering) here. I'm always shocked when I do so and the place looks clean. Makes me wonder how I let it get so messy in the first place so as to necessitate an extended cleaning. It's also nice to look around at bare carpet and clean tables. It *looks* clean. Shocking! Yeah, so if you were in the Hartford area, I could invite you over now since the place is presentable. Pretty cool to be able to say that.
And in other news, it appears as though reports of a fixed dishwasher were greatly exaggerated. This is bothering me since I don't have any clean plates or silverwear. Plus I'm rapidly going through all my clean glasses. You know, the collection of beer-branded ones I picked up last year at the local pub. (That is, "picked up" as in "purchased as part of specials," not "procured with a five-finger discount.") I may have to start going back on Tuesday nights for more glasses. (Not that I really need them or have anywhere to store them. Then again, that doesn't stop me from buying DVDs or action figures so why should it stop me from obtaining more beer glasses?)
Saturday, January 22, 2005
In Good Company Is In Good Spirits
In Good Company stars Dennis Quaid, Topher Grace, and Scarlett Johansson; with cameos by Marg Helgenberger, David Paymer, Clark Gregg, Philip Baker Hall, Selma Blair, and Malcolm McDowell. Written and directed by Paul Weitz.
[Edited] IMDB Plot Summary:
I wish I could place some qualification on my recommendation. Something like "if you like x then you'll like this." But nothing specific comes to mind. It's really just a fascinating tale with well-developed characters. And all I can do is strongly recommend you go see it. Because it's a great movie.
On a side note, it's nice to see Dennis Quaid and Topher Grace. Quaid does an impeccable job and really carries the movie. He's going strong, notwithstanding him being 50 years old. Meanwhile, Grace does a great acting job himself. I hope he gets more movie roles as I'd like to see him in more movies. I also hope he (Grace) gets some characters a bit less quirky. He does quirky very well as evident from That 70's Show. Hopefully he can do non-quirky just as well in a leading role. As for Johansson, I haven't seen her other movies yet but she's no slouch herself. I think she still needs one big role, a movie with her as the lead. That might pull her into the spotlight and better establish her Hollywood presence. Lastly, I'm glad Helgenberger (of CSI fame) was in the movie. She's an excellent actress and I hope she gets more roles, too.
ALAN'S MOVIE RATING: Theater-Worthy (if not DVD-Worthy).
[Edited] IMDB Plot Summary:
Dan Foreman (Quaid) is headed for a shakeup. He is demoted from head of ad sales for a major magazine when the company he works for is acquired in a corporate takeover. His new boss, Carter Duryea (Grace), is half his age--a business school prodigy who preaches corporate synergy. While Dan develops clients through handshake deals and relationships, Carter cross-promotes the magazine with [other divisions] under the same corporate umbrella. Both men are going through turmoil at home. Dan has two daughters, Alex (Johansson), age 21, and Jana (), age 16, and is shocked when his wife (Helgenberger) tells him she's pregnant with a new child. Meanwhile, Carter is dumped by his wife (Blair) of seven months just as he gets his promotion. Dan and Carter's uneasy friendship is thrown into jeopardy when Carter falls for, and begins seeing, Dan's daughter Alex.This is another "controversial" movie in the sense that some people like it while others do not. Me, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. The story is reminescent of a middle age crisis. Quaid's character's life is in complete and utter turmoil: his company has been acquired, he's demoted, his daughter wants to switch colleges and live in the city and he has another kid on the way. Grace's character is in similar disarray but at a different stage in his life. The budding relationship with the daughter only serves to emphasize this point and stress the relationships, professional and social, that develop. There's no single, big "gotcha moment" or utter plot resolution but rather a nicely woven story depicting a few months/a year in the lives of the characters. A very interesting, engaging time period that changes their lives forever.
I wish I could place some qualification on my recommendation. Something like "if you like x then you'll like this." But nothing specific comes to mind. It's really just a fascinating tale with well-developed characters. And all I can do is strongly recommend you go see it. Because it's a great movie.
On a side note, it's nice to see Dennis Quaid and Topher Grace. Quaid does an impeccable job and really carries the movie. He's going strong, notwithstanding him being 50 years old. Meanwhile, Grace does a great acting job himself. I hope he gets more movie roles as I'd like to see him in more movies. I also hope he (Grace) gets some characters a bit less quirky. He does quirky very well as evident from That 70's Show. Hopefully he can do non-quirky just as well in a leading role. As for Johansson, I haven't seen her other movies yet but she's no slouch herself. I think she still needs one big role, a movie with her as the lead. That might pull her into the spotlight and better establish her Hollywood presence. Lastly, I'm glad Helgenberger (of CSI fame) was in the movie. She's an excellent actress and I hope she gets more roles, too.
ALAN'S MOVIE RATING: Theater-Worthy (if not DVD-Worthy).
Friday, January 21, 2005
Simpson Daughter Arrested
CNN: O.J. Simpson's daughter arrested.
O.J. Simpson's 19-year-old daughter was arrested after she refused to stop yelling at officers who had been summoned because of a fight outside a basketball game involving her old prep school, police said.So much you can say about this one. Guess it runs in the family. Maybe she should retain Johnny Cochrane. If the yelling doesn't fit, you must acquit! I wonder if her dad can give her any advice on beating the rap. Will there be any DNA testing involved? So much.
Sydney Simpson was charged Saturday with resisting arrest without violence, punishable by up to a year in jail, and disorderly conduct, which carries a possible 60-day jail sentence.
Hypocrisy Rolling Stone Bible Advert
CNN: Rolling Stone refuses to run ad for Bible.
Rolling Stone magazine declined to run an advertisement for a new translation of the Bible aimed at young people, the nation's largest Bible publisher said Wednesday.What I find amusing is the line "endless media noise and political spin." To me, the ad appears to be anti-media. Highly ironic given that it is an advertisement being run in a form of mass media. Hypocritical even. The ad is basically saying that modern mass media does not contain "real truth" while the TNIV does. While I find it difficult to argue that modern media does contain "absolute" truth in any form, especially given the various slants and agendas (political and social) of the different media groups, I'm not at all suprised that one of these media groups decided not to run the ad. In fact, I'm surprised the others are running it. For shame Modern Bride et al.! For shame!!!
...
[T]he ad features the face of a contemplative-looking young man and includes this copy:
"In a world of almost endless media noise and political spin, you wonder where you can find real truth. Well, now there's a source that's accurate, clear and reliable. It's the TNIV -- Today's New International Version of the Bible. It's written in today's language, for today's times -- and it makes more sense than ever."
Media outlets that agreed to carry the ad include Modern Bride, The Onion, MTV.com and AOL, Lockhart said. AOL, like CNN.com, is a unit of Time Warner.
Gay Sponge Pineapple Christian
CNN: Christians issue gay warning on SpongeBob video.
No, no, they're not saying Spongebob is gay. Rather they're upset that a nonprofit video (from the We Are Family Foundation) designed to encourage tolerance and diversity actually encourages tolerance and diversity.
My favorite bit from this story has to be the caption under the picture of a Spongebob plush:
No, no, they're not saying Spongebob is gay. Rather they're upset that a nonprofit video (from the We Are Family Foundation) designed to encourage tolerance and diversity actually encourages tolerance and diversity.
Christian groups [] have taken exception to the tolerance pledge on the foundation's Web site, which asks people to respect the sexual identity of others along with their abilities, beliefs, culture and race.Tolerance and diversity for everyone! ...unless they're not heterosexual. ..or Christian.
My favorite bit from this story has to be the caption under the picture of a Spongebob plush:
SpongeBob lives in a pineapple under the sea.And this crucial nugget of information will help you place the rest of the article in the appropriate context. You know, because living in a pineapple under the sea obviously indicates Spongebob's homosexual nature.
Happy Birthday Mr. Poe!
A belated Happy Birthday to Mr. Edgar Allen Poe! (His birthday was on Wednesday. I learned of this from glancing at my 2005 Sandman Calendar.)
I'm a moderate E.A. Poe fan. Long ago I read a lot of his works and thoroughly enjoyed them. The well-written pseudo-horror style really appeals to me. My favorites are The Cask of Amontillado and Masque of the Red Death.
ADDENDUM: E.A.P. was born in 1809. [6:31 PM, 1/22]
I'm a moderate E.A. Poe fan. Long ago I read a lot of his works and thoroughly enjoyed them. The well-written pseudo-horror style really appeals to me. My favorites are The Cask of Amontillado and Masque of the Red Death.
ADDENDUM: E.A.P. was born in 1809. [6:31 PM, 1/22]
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Afternoon Slashdot Roundup
Do You Want to Live Forever? "This month's Technology Review introduces us to the computer scientist, and self-taught biologist, Aubrey de Grey, who thinks immortality could be within our grasp by 2030. Thinking like an engineer, he's broken aging down into seven specific problems, like cell atrophy and mitochondrial mutation, which he believes can all, in principle, be solved. And he has good reason to think those seven are the only 'bugs' standing in the way of a thousand-year lifespan. De Grey is clearly both a genius and a little nuts, but I'm not sure in what proportion..."
Google Cans Comment Spam: "[T]oday Google announced that, in partnership with MSN Search and Yahoo!, that they have implemented a way to block content spam. Briefly, you just change your blogging/wiki/forum/etc. software so that any hyperlinks in publicly-contributed text have a new rel=nofollow attribute added to any anchor tags. Google, MSN, and Yahoo! will now no longer index any such links, so the motive for content spamming disappears. Especially hopeful is the fact that a slew of makers of blogging software, including Six Apart, have announced they are supporting the new attribute."
Design Updates to MMOG Combat Systems: "A thread has been posted on the upcoming combat upgrade to Star Wars Galaxies, discussing design goals and opening up conversation to the game community. The initial post has been followed up by several other developer posts. Meanwhile, the folks at Blizzard have released the second part of their PvP Battlegrounds Preview. The new preview offers details on win conditions in the instanced areas and more information on PvP questing."
Google Cans Comment Spam: "[T]oday Google announced that, in partnership with MSN Search and Yahoo!, that they have implemented a way to block content spam. Briefly, you just change your blogging/wiki/forum/etc. software so that any hyperlinks in publicly-contributed text have a new rel=nofollow attribute added to any anchor tags. Google, MSN, and Yahoo! will now no longer index any such links, so the motive for content spamming disappears. Especially hopeful is the fact that a slew of makers of blogging software, including Six Apart, have announced they are supporting the new attribute."
Design Updates to MMOG Combat Systems: "A thread has been posted on the upcoming combat upgrade to Star Wars Galaxies, discussing design goals and opening up conversation to the game community. The initial post has been followed up by several other developer posts. Meanwhile, the folks at Blizzard have released the second part of their PvP Battlegrounds Preview. The new preview offers details on win conditions in the instanced areas and more information on PvP questing."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)