Tuesday, February 01, 2005

In Response to E.Spat's Epiphany

E.Spat put up this post last Thursday on an epiphany of hers.

Here's the thing. While I applaud her post for its honesty and her for sharing all of that with us, I do not share the surprise and like-feelings expressed by others in the comments to her post.

Sometimes I truly don't understand other people. Why is it an especially novel concept that you should believe in yourself? Why is it so difficult to believe that the physical perception of yourself by others is not paramount? That there are people of the opposite sex who will love you for being yourself and not looking like yourself? That there are others of the opposite sex who will love you period? And not treat you like shit? And you should try to find one of those people? I honestly don't get it. Why do people knowingly and willingly put themselves into bad personal situations with "bad" people?

Don't get me wrong, I sympathize with E.Spat and her tale. It is very compelling and not a little bit sad. But at the same time, I don't get why it took so long for her to come around, to realize that there's more to life than "a magic number."

Apologies here for the next generalization but I think it's fair. The subject of weight is always a tricky one with women. Any guy worth his salt should know better than to touch that one with a 10' pole. You can't win. All you can do is lose, dig yourself a deeper ditch or dig yourself a grave. There's no other option. So, as a guy, I may be missing a lot of perspective on this issue. Still, why is this topic such a big issue? At some point, can't we just say: "Figure out some way to be happy with yourself and damn those that disagree!"

I'm pretty sure I have a moderately unique, only partly cynical, hopeful outlook on things. I still have more hope and faith than cynicism. I believe in a lot of things, some antiquated, some made antiquated by today's society. I also don't believe in a lot of things, such as getting down on yourself for a poor reason. And that's how I view E.Spat's story. I've found that one big trick in life, at least for me, is to not care so much about how other people view me. Do what you need to do, be who you need to be, and befriend those you want to be friends with. Why would you hang out with people who make you feel bad about yourself? Why are you not deserving of something better, something more human? You deserve what you think you deserve.

Alright, maybe I'm just not insecure enough but I truly do believe in those things and others like them. I also believe we all have a choice. We can choose what direction we move in and where we go. Yes, sometimes we get trapped by our past decisions, but those are merely consequences of choices you've already made. So deal. And learn. And grow.

I also believe that I can spew bullshit like this nearly interminably. (It's not really bullshit but you know what I mean.) Anyways, enough. If you want more, give me a narrow question. Else, tell me what I'm missing. Or tell me what you think. Or tell me I'm an ass. I don't care. (Only on the last, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the former.)