Monday, April 14, 2008


I was working on a post titled "The End Is Near," but then, after pondering, I realized it's just whining. More griping about work and stress and my mom. That's it. It's not helpful or useful. Writing it isn't going to change anything. It's venting, but not in any capacity that could be construed as productive or positive.

Sometimes venting can be good. You express your feelings and clear the air, and your head. But I have a huge streak in me that likes to vent without concurrently accomplishing anything positive. I like to whine.

So you're not getting that "End" post. Instead, you're getting this one on choice.

I continually forget that I have choices. We all do. I can choose to be miserable and unhappy. I can choose to blame my job or my situation or my lack of motivation. I can choose to be mindless and without direction.

Or I can choose not.

I can choose to find happiness where I can. I can consciously choose to be positive and maintain a positive outlook, to find and see the best instead of the worst. I rarely do so, but that's not the point. The point is that I have a choice and I need to choose.

I am going to make a conscious effort to choose.

I either choose to do my work and catch up, or I choose to find a new job. No more half-assery. Choice.

I either choose to live at home, or I finally clean things up at home and move out, into a place of my own. Choice.

I either choose to eat better and get in shape, or I choose to deal with the consequences. Choice.

Too often, I do something because it is there in front of me. Because it is easy. Because it is "the next step." Because it is convenient. Not because I made a choice, but because I didn't make a choice.
"Begin each day as if it were on purpose!" -- Mary Anne Radmacher
All of the above could be a load of hot air. I am known for having minor epiphanies and promptly not following through on them. Heck, I'm known for not following through on things in general. But that's also symptomatic -- I don't choose and I don't do anything because of that.

So I need to start affirmatively making choices. Now.