Initially I was going to start off with something like "man, I've been emo of late" or "I'm feeling real emo these days" but then I tried to figure out what "emo" actually means (I like to understand what I write... sometimes) and I was waylaid by the internets and a traveling pack of whiney, self-obsessed, neurotic boys. They dragged me to their underground, candle-lit lair (which, apparently, also doubles as a sewer). Anyway, once we arrived, they debated whether to sacrifice me to their dark lord or read me their poetry. (For the record, I lobbied for the sacrifice.) While they were distracted by their cleric's monologue on self-perpetuating stereotypes, I managed to chew through my bindings and sneak away. I found a manhole that led me back to aboveground. A shower and some fresh clothes later, the stench was all but a memory.
Yeah, good luck deciphering that one.