Tuesday, June 21, 2005

A Stern Warning of Things To Come

I picked up the subject line just now from the opening credits of Futurama. (Cartoon Network's Adult Swim, 11pm EST.)
"Ow! My small intestine!"

"Arrr! The laws of science be a harsh mistress!"

(while underwater, Fry speaking to a mermaid)
"Am I gonna drown?"
"Just stay calm and let the gentle currents relax your body."
"Did it just get warmer?"

(Bender the robot)
"In the event of an emergency, my ass can also be used as a flotation device."

(Prof. Hubert Farnsworth)
"This is uncomfortable and humiliating! Now if only they could put it in the form of a suppository..."

"I miss me wife and me oxygen."
"Yes, yes, we all miss our loved ones and gases."

(Fry, after finding out that the gorgeous mermaid doesn't reproduce like we do)
"Why couldn't she be the other kind of mermaid, with the fish part on top and the lady part on the bottom?!?"

(after returning to the surface, Amy asks Fry..)
"What happened to Umbrielle?"
"It turns out I love her but I wasn't 'in love' with her."
(Amy whispering to Leela) "Trouble in bed."
And those from the episode itself.

Today at BarBri we had our first of three sessions on Evidence. Personally I've had a fair amount of experience with Evidence. I took the course, I took Trial Practice, competed in a Mock Trial Competition (my team made the first cut!), and worked a great deal with the Student Trial Lawyers Association. Basically, I know a lot about Evidence already.

So originally I looked forward to today's session. The previous 2 had been on Corporations and were not very engaging. Today's Evidence was worse for me. Since I know about Evidence, very little of today was new material. I found myself pretty uninterested and bored, much more so than usual.

And I get 2 more days of this stuff? *sigh*

Today I learned that I prefer the sessions on law that I don't know very well as compared to sessions on law I am familiar with. The good news is that I'm rather familiar with Evidence and Intellectual Property. (So after Evidence there shouldn't be much more, if any, really boring ones for me. However that may also be a problem...)

Yay Futurama! Woohoo!

ADDENDUM: I was just poking around IMDB, looking at the people who do the voices for Futurama and Family Guy. Get this, the actress who plays Jackie Burkhart on That '70s Show (Mila Kunis) is the voice of Meg Griffith! The irony is palpable! On one show she plays a good-looking, snobbish, arrogant, rich airhead, on the other she's a homely, unpopular outcast! Excellent! [11:36 PM]

ADDENDUM II: I also just refreshed my recollection (hehe) that Patrick Warburton (a favorite actor of mine) voices Brock Samson for The Venture Bros.!

I can't resist some favorite Family Guy quotations:
Chris Griffin: Hey, birthday dude! You want some ice cream?
Stewie Griffin: Yes, but no sprinkles. For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you.

[riding a circus elephant]
Peter Griffin: Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change.

Stewie Griffin: [to ticket agent] Now listen to me...
[looks at agent's name tag]
Stewie Griffin: Jo-LENE. I've got an army to raise and I must get to Nicaragua. I require a window seat and an in-flight Happy Meal AND NO PICKLES. OH, GOD HELP YOU IF I FIND PICKLES.

Lois Griffin: You should spend some time with our kids, Peter. And with me.
Peter Griffin: Uh, what could me and you do together?
[Lois giggles]
Peter Griffin: Lois. You've got a sick mind.
Lois Griffin: Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter Griffin: Oh. I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.

Little Girl: Ewww your breath smells like kitty litter!
Stewie Griffin: I was curious!

Peter Griffin: Come on. Let's go drink till we can't feel feelings any more.

Peter Griffin: [Peter writing a letter to Fox] If you don't put 'Coach' back on the air i'll be really upset. the skillful acting of Craig T. Nelson will be missed a lot. Signed Peter Griffin.
[White-out spills on the paper, making it say "If you don't put Coach back on the air, I'll kill Craig T. Nelson."]
Craig T. Nelson: [knocks on the door] Hi, are you Peter Griffin?
Peter Griffin: Yes.
Craig T. Nelson: [Hands him a pistol] Make it quick.

Stewie Griffin: [to Peter] When the world is mine, your death should be quick and painless.

Meg Griffin: You could kill all the girls who are prettier than me.
Death: Well that would just leave England.

Stewie Griffin: Mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint: it's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.
Lois Griffin: Meg, can you change Stewie?
Meg Griffin: Fine, but this time if a boy calls, please don't tell him I'm wrist deep in poopy.

Peter Griffin: [after "Family Guy" returns to Fox with new episodes, after a few years off the air] Everybody, I got bad news. We've been canceled.
Lois Griffin: Oh, no! Peter, how could they do that?
Peter Griffin: Well, unfortunately, Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We've just got to accept the fact that Fox has to make room for terrific shows, like "Dark Angel", "Titus", "Undeclared", "Action", "That '80s Show", "Wonder Falls", "Fastlane", "Andy Richter Controls the Universe", "Skin", "Girls Club", "Cracking Up", "The Pitts", "Firefly", "Get Real", "Freaky Links", "Wanda at Large", "Costello", "The Lone Gunmen", "A Minute with Stan Hooper", "Normal, Ohio", "Pasadena", "Harsh Realm", "Keen Eddie", "The Street", "American Embassy", "Cedric the Entertainer", "The Tick", "Louie", and "Greg the Bunny".
Lois Griffin: Is there no hope?
Peter Griffin: Well, I suppose if all those shows go down the tubes, we might have a shot.

[Brian and Stewie are on a German tour bus]
German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided.
Brian Griffin: Yeah, about your pamphlet... uh, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap.
Tour guide: Everyone vas on vacation. On your left is Munich's first city hall, erected in 15...
Brian Griffin: Wait, what are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and...
Tour Guide: We were invited. Punch vas served. Check vit Poland.
Brian Griffin: You can't just ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism's stranglehold on Germany.
Tour guide: Nope, nope. He left to manage a Dairy Queen.
Brian Griffin: A Dairy Queen? That's preposterous.
Tour guide: I vill hear no more insinuations about the German people. Nothing bad happened. Sie werden sich hinsetzen. Sie werden ruhig sein. Sie werden nicht beleidigen Deutschland. (You will sit down. You will shut up. You will not insult Germany.)
[throws his hand up in a Hitler salute]
Brian Griffin: ...uh, is that a beer hall?
Tour guide: Oh yes, Munich is renowned for its historic beer halls.

Announcer: And now back to The Newlywed Game.
Host: Kiyero, how did Nick answer the following, "The last thing I would ever give my wife is, blank"
Kiyero: A little spending money.
Host: I'm sorry, that's incorrect. Nick actually said, "The Antidote."
Kiyero: Nick what are you talking abou--[falls down dead]

Chris: Yo did you all check me when that hottie was all up in my cool aid? Yeah I was looking to break off a little sumthin sumthin, but my crew gave me the 411 on that skank and she's all about the bling bling.
Peter: [slams on the car breaks]
Lois: Peter, whats wrong?
Peter: He's speaking in tongues Lois. Our son is possessed. [takes out a bible] Meg start at psalm 41 and don't stop reading until I tell you. [splashes chris with holy water] The power of christ compels you!
Chris: [screaming]
Peter: The power of christ compels you!
Chris: [screaming]
Lois: Peter stop! He's not possessed.
Meg: Yeah, he's just taking street. Lots of kids do it.
Peter: Oh, well, that's kinda weird.
Sorry but I got caught up in reading them all. There are just too many!!! [12:00 AM]