Saturday, June 25, 2005

The Inner Conflict

Sometimes, many times, I want to put up a post here about some fairly personal issue that is really troubling me. Often that desired post never makes it to the light of day. Why? Because I know this blog is accessible (or will be) to those looking to learn more about me (read: employers).

I want to keep things honest here. I want to disclose more than I have. In some cases, a lot more. But I also don't want such disclosures to come around in the future and bite me in the ass when I least expect it.

In particular, this eliminates disclosures about strong negative aspects of myself. For example, I was writing one where the first line was: "I am the world's greatest procrastinator." The post was going to explain a little about my law school predicament and the reason the wrap up post has yet to be written or posted. But if I were to write such a post and a future potential employer were to find it, there is a good chance that it would produce either additional questions for me or a second thought on the employer's behalf as to whether or not I would be a good candidate for the position. The former would be annoying. The latter would be deadly.

And so, you, the legitimate ordinary readers, are only receiving approximately 75% (possibly a bit less) of the material that I would like to post.

I don't regret having associated my name with this blog. In many ways, I feel it has led to more honesty and care than less. Plus, it's good practice. Things that I should not and will not say here are also probably, for the most part, things that should not and will not be stated elsewhere. Only my close friends get more than is written here and, sometimes, they get less.

But it's still annoying and mildly aggravating at times. That does not change.