Wednesday, May 21, 2008

A Difficult Conversation

Courage. Anonymity. Escapism. Conversation. Summary.

Courage. I wish this post was about courage. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm not more courageous than the average person based on my willingness to try new things or broach topics or address things head on. But I'm also woefully deficient in other realms, such as dating and moving out of my mom's house and my career. On the whole, I figure there's some balance between the two that evens out over time.

Anonymity. Sometimes I wish this blog was anonymous. There is much more I could or would say if I knew it wouldn't come back to me. There would be posts about recent doctor's visits and such. There would be more posts about my goals or lack thereof. There would be posts about desires and fantasies and dreams. Instead, posts are plainer with more superficial topics and less commentary. At times more like a public diary than a conversation or conversation starter.

Escapism. I probably am mired in escapism. Between the games (board and video), the books (graphic novels and novels), and the viewing (movies and television), a significant portion of my time and attention is spent in other realms. But is that a bad thing? I would argue it is not, that it is another outlet for imagination and creativity, not to mention education. Losing your sense of wonder and not being inquisitive would be far greater crimes.

Conversation. And all of the above has very little to do with the main subject of this post, though they are probably more interesting. Since this blog is not anonymous, I will only provide the merest of description. Today, I had a difficult conversation with my bosses, one in which I related my recent doctor visits. They appear to be very supportive, as I thought/hoped they would be given the fact that I am still employed by them (a marvel in and of itself). I just wonder where things go from here, other than the inevitable "onwards."

Summary. A few random observances that are not so random to me. A passing note to mark a not-so-minor, but brief, discussion. A wandering post from a wandering mind. I assure you, it makes sense to me.