Monday, June 07, 2010

Stupid Floppy Disk... And a Show and an Epiphany or Two

I had this fantastic post all done up.. and it's sitting next to me on an unreadable floppy disk. Maybe I shouldn't have transported it in my pocket? So today you will get the short(er) version of whatever it was I wrote on the stupid thing.

Last Wednesday, my mom and I ventured into The City (because if you live in the tri-state area there really is only one City around - NYC) to catch a show (my annual birthday present). To wit, we saw "A Little Night Music," a musical written by Sondheim. It starred Catherine Zeta Jones and Angela Lansbury. An excellent, excellent show! Absolutely wonderful. Everyone in it was fantastic. CZJ stole the show when she sang "Send In The Clowns" and AL was spectacular as the aging grandmother. Just a wonderful show.

And last week I had an epiphany or two. I could give you context for my realizations or some droning about the "process," but none of that really matters. Here's what I have scratched on a small piece of paper:
What am I waiting for?

I want change and yet I do everything in my power to avoid it.

I am waiting for myself to accept change.
And I think all of that is true. I constantly bemoan my complacency and immobility while doing nothing to address it. I stay where I am, apparently waiting for something to come along, never doing anything to move myself beyond this point.

So it's time I decided to do something did something. Screw the economy, screw health insurance, screw my lack of savings and safety nets - I'm gonna do something. Because maybe, just maybe, I'm ready for some change after all.

I had an idea I was kicking around. I spoke with an acquaintance who has some experience and he offered another idea related to my first. It sounds interesting if nothing else. It sounds like something I'd like to try and do, whether it works or not. The cool thing is that it will require a lot of learning on my part. A concerted, continual effort to figure it out and figure out how to do it. I don't know how long that will take, but I think 6-8 months is reasonable at a guess. If nothing else, that should get me a Christmas bonus as a small safety net and possibly enough time to get myself ready (e.g., use of my current, work-provided health insurance).

I don't know if it will take off, if I'll follow through or even what it will become, but I figure it's worth a shot to find out. Why not?