Sunday, February 25, 2007

This Week in Miscellany X

This Week's Anthem: "Love" by Sixpence None The Richer


Miscellaneous Miscellany:


Quotes:

"Sneakier than an imaginary ninja on a stealth fighter!" -- Diesel Sweeties (2/21/07)

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." -- Arthur C. Clarke



Overheards: (I may have gone a little overboard this week.)

Overheard One:
Philosophy student: Basically, all I really want is to survive until I die.
Two:
Receptionist: Can I help you this morning?
Mom: Yes. I need a shot to keep my daughter from being a complete bitch.
Teen girl: Like they've invented that, Mom.
Three:
Lady: You think wearing the skin of a dead cow is cool or something? You're promoting murder by wearing that.
Leather jacket guy: I don't wear this because I like leather. I wear this because I hate cows. My father was gored to death by a bull. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to Burger King.
Four:
Customer with CD: Don't make fun of the Transformers.
Bookseller: I'm not making fun. I had that soundtrack. I lost it in the hurricane.
Customer with CD: Well, you can't have mine.
Bookseller: I have The Matrix.
Customer with CD: I have the touch.
Passing customer: And I have the power!
Five:
Dude #1: I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Dude #2: Ummm... Hmmm.
Six:
Columbia student: Do you go to NYU?
NYU student: Yes, how did you know?
Columbia student: I could tell by your dirty shoes. NYU gets their students from the homeless shelter.
NYU student: Excuse me?
Columbia student: I'm your biggest enemy.
NYU student: What?
Columbia student: I go to Columbia.
NYU student: Can you leave me alone?
Seven:
Girl: Oh my god! That guy over there across the street -- I went out with him last Saturday! We made plans for this weekend, and when I asked him what was up he told me he had to go home to Long Island 'cause his grandmother was sick.
Guy friend: The one with his arm around that girl? Clearly, he was lying.
Girl: No shit. C'mon, let's cross the street.

[They cross the street.]

Girl: Oh my god! Alex*! Wow, this is funny.
Alex: Oh... Jenny*... Hi... What are you doing here?

[Introductions are made all around.]

Jenny: So, how's your grandmother? I take it you saw her this weekend?
Girl with Alex: Yeah, Alex, how is your grandmother? You saw her two weekends in a row? You are quite the devoted grandson.
Jenny's guy friend: Dude, you are so fucked.
Eight:
Little boy: Oprah, save me!

~//~

Hot Asian chick: I want to go, but do we have enough David Hasselhoff shirts to last us the whole weekend?

~//~

Guy chatting up girl: Yeah, this is a real celebrity hangout. There are probably famous people in here right now, we just don't know who they are.
Nine:
Guy on cell: 28 Days was just stupid. Zombies aren't like that. Dawn of the Dead is the most realistic portrayal of zombies I've ever seen!

~//~

Chick to hipsters: I did my first autopsy to The Wizard of Oz.
Ten:
Crazy lady: Don't touch my coat! I don't know where your hands have been!
Passenger: I was fixing something.
Crazy lady: Well, don't fix anything! I don't know you! And get your fucking hand out of my face!
Passenger: My hand wasn't in your face.
Crazy lady: I wasn't talking to you! I was talking to myself! Stop stalking me or I'll cut you right on this train!


Old Miscellany:

This Week in Miscelleny I
This Week in Miscellany II
This Week in Miscellany III
This Week in Miscellany IV
This Week in Miscellany V
This Week in Miscelleny VI (there is no VI)
This Week in Miscellany VII
This Week in Miscellany VIII
This Week in Miscellany IX
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Saturday, February 24, 2007

Warlock Haikus

My main in World of Warcraft is a Warlock. I realize this means nothing to +90% of the people reading this. (Too bad.) On the official WoW Warlock Board, someone started a thread for Warlock Haikus. (Link will likely be broken.) I contributed the following:

THE WARLOCKS COMETH
DEATH TO ALL WHO OPPOSE US
WE WILL EAT YOUR SOULS

(It was screaming for caps. And technically, "EAT" should probably be "TAKE." I just like "EAT" better.)

Warlocks are wicked.
Have you done your evil deed?
Kittens make good snacks.

("Kittens" could easily be "Gnomes" or "Trolls" instead.)

Curse of Agony,
Corruption, Siphon Life, and
Drain Life mean you die.

(This is kinda fun!)

Do not run away!
We come in peace. Do not fear.
Oops, did I kill you?

(Infernal in Goldshire maybe?)

I saw the Rogue first,
but then he popped his Cloak.
The graveyard is nice.

(I'm looking forward to Peeveepee. And graveyards. And repair bills. *sigh*)

Felguards smash faces.
They can also stun and cleave
those who laugh at them.

(Go Demo Spec! And no, it's not nubguard or lolguard. Don't hate us because we pwn.)

I am a Warlock.
I kill for fun and profit.
I am immortal.

(Probably sacreligious.. which fits as we're Warlocks.)
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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

This Morning's E-Mails

Every day, as part of my morning work ritual, I check my four G-mail accounts. I actually have at least another 3-4 e-mail accounts but they are largely unused. This morning, I came across two "bombs" in my personal e-mail account.

1. Captain Kate, who was rather pregnant when last we spoke, had her baby! I think the baby was a bit premature (I remember April something as the due date) but both mother and daughter are healthy and well. Congratulations to Capt. Kate and Señor Pete!!!

2. My best friend from college (haven't seen him in 4-5 years or so) sent me an e-mail a month or two ago telling me that he's getting married later this year and inviting me to the wedding. Today, he asked me to be a groomsman! (To which I replied I would be honored.) His will be the second wedding I attend this year and also the second wedding in which I am a groomsman. Whoah.

I know there's a 3-time rule for women serving in the Bridal Party. Is there any such "rule" for men?

Quite a way to begin the day.
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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Evil Dead The Musical

On Saturday, The Actuary, Gamer Girl (his girlfriend) and I went into "The City" (aka The Big Apple) to see Evil Dead The Musical. We actually caught the second-to-last show. Lamentably, it's no longer showing in NYC (or anywhere else (yet)).


Links:

Evil Dead The Musical - Main Site
EDTM Myspace Page
EDTM Cast Album (Soundtrack) Page (Coming out March 24!)
EDTM Merchandise


Background:

The Evil Dead (1981) is a campy horror flick written and directed by Sam Raimi and starring the illustrious Bruce Campbell as Ash.

Plot Summary:
Five friends go up to a cabin in the woods where they find unspeakable evil lurking in the forest. They find the Necronomicon and the taped translation of the text. Once the tape is played, the evil is released. One by one, the teens become deadly zombies. With only one remaining, it is up to him to survive the night and battle the evil dead.
(Incidentally, this is also the plot of the musical.)

This was followed by Evil Dead II (1987) and Army of Darkness (1992). The pieces most people remember are from the middle of Evil Dead II through Army of Darkness. For example, Ash as a shotgun ("boomstick")-armed, one-handed, chainsaw-wielding hero.


Review:

WONDERFUL! As a fan of Evil Dead, Ash and all-things-Bruce-Campbell, I thoroughly enjoyed the musical! The writers managed to translate the fun, campy attitude to song and dance. The entire atmosphere of the story is that it's making fun of itself - at no time is anything taken too seriously. The musical numbers are downright amazing and the cast succeeded in bringing them alive. The lead actor, Ryan Ward, was excellent and it certainly didn't hurt that the producers cast someone who closely resembles a younger Bruce Campbell. The musical went out of its way to include many hallmarks of the Evil Dead movies, including well-known phrases, references and plenty of T&A. The writers also went so far as to include many trademarks of the campy horror genre, such as the drawn-out-fists-shaking-at-the-sky "NOOOOOOOO!!!" and some overzealous, bloody dismemberment.

If the musical were still running, I would strongly recommend it for fans of the movies and anyone who would enjoy a silly, irreverential horror musical. Truly a good time.
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This Week in Miscellany IX

This Week's Anthems: "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash; "Falling in Love" by Lisa Loeb


Miscellaneous Miscellany:


Quotes:

"Valentine's Day: Because love isn't quite complicated enough as it is." -- xkcd (2/14/06)

"I Death Coil mages, and not because I have to, but because I can." -- Kjarne, Ursin Server (Official WoW Warlock Forum)

"You should generally not put a warlock in heroic mode, as the maximum raid size of 40 members will be unlikely to defeat him." -- Dellevin, Chromaggus Server (Official WoW Warlock Forum)



Overheards:

Overheard 1:
Chick: A new day, another dollar. A new day, another dollar. A new day, another dollar. As long as I have my smoothie, I'm okay. Smoothie -- okay. No smoothie -- not okay.
Two:
Frustrated employee to dim coworker: If you'd stop being an idiot I wouldn't have to hate you anymore.
Three:
Coworker: You know, they really need to make more Queen Latifah movies.
Four:
Patron: Ummm, I'm looking for a book.

Librarian: Okay, well, do you know what it's called?

Patron: No.

Librarian: Do you know who wrote it?

Patron: No.

Librarian: Are you just hoping that we have some sort of book?

Patron: Yeah.

Librarian: You know you're in a fuckin' library, right?


Old Miscellany:

This Week in Miscelleny I
This Week in Miscellany II
This Week in Miscellany III
This Week in Miscellany IV
This Week in Miscellany V
This Week in Miscelleny VI (there is no VI)
This Week in Miscellany VII
This Week in Miscellany VIII
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This Week in Miscellany VIII

This Week's Anthems: "Rain All Day" by Fleming & John; "My Lover's Box" by Garbage; "Forgotten" by Avril Lavigne


Miscellaneous Miscellany:


Quotes:

"If everybody liked us, we would be rich." -- Elvis Duran, The Z-100 Morning Zoo (1/30/07)

"Our love is like a honey-baked ham: pink, salty and unclean in the eyes of the lord." -- Diesel Sweeties Valentine e-Cards 2.0

"My goal is to replace my soul with coffee and become immortal." -- Dilbert (2/08/07)

"The trick to staying in a relationship is digging yourself into the shallowest graves possible." -- Diesel Sweeties (2/08/07)

"Overlords are not required to come up with business plans!" -- User Friendly (2/09/07)



Overheards:

Overheard 1:
Male flight attendant: Okay, folks, one last time -- please turn your cell phones off. If the person next to you is talking on their phone, smack 'em! That should teach them.


Old Miscellany:

This Week in Miscelleny I
This Week in Miscellany II
This Week in Miscellany III
This Week in Miscellany IV
This Week in Miscellany V
This Week in Miscelleny VI (there is no VI)
This Week in Miscellany VII
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eHarmony Update

I haven't mentioned eHarmony in a long time because there hasn't been anything to say. I've been getting new matches on and off. Until a few days ago, none had requested communication (at least in the previous 1-2 months). As it is, I don't have anything to update with though I do have a few thoughts/comments.

eHarmony apparently has a flexible matching system in addition to the normal, non-flexible one. The flexible system matches you with people (slightly) outside your stated preferences for those preferences you indicated were of less importance. For example, I know I specified 22 as the bottom limit for age. (My reasoning is that she must be old enough to drink and... well, no great reason for 22 vs. 21 other than I feel upping it to 22 will help increase maturity by a small but significant notch.) eHarmony matched me with a 20 year old. That's all fine, well and good, but I don't think so. I'm probably a little flexible on upper age but not on lower. Thank you, try again.

One of eHarmony's fill-in-the-blank fields is: "One thing that only [person]'s best friends know is:" Easily 50% of the profiles I've seen respond with something like: "I am not going to tell, its a secret and that is why they are the only ones who know." or "Hahaha, if I tell the world of eharmony, then it would no longer be a thing that only my best friend knows." or "Well if only my best friends know, then it means you have to get to know me, to know what that is..." (Incidentally, those are direct quotes from profiles.)

Let's think about this for a minute. If they ("they" being the omniscient g-ds of eHarmony) put that question in their questionnaire, chances are they didn't want people to respond with a "cute" quip about being secretive. Somewhat like the last field ("Some additional information [person] wanted you to know is:"), they were trying to provide additional opportunities to relate pertinent information.

The goal here is to meet people while also being somewhat selective about it. eHarmony's matching system is the first screen. They only send you profiles of people with whom they think you'd be a good match, based on their patented matching system that was undoubtedly procured from the aliens. The second screen is the person's profile. A profile needs to relate enough information about a person so that someone reading it can make an initial guesstimation as to whether or not they'd like to start the eHarmony 49-step process of communication. (Okay, so the process is really only 4 or 5 steps, but with delays and the fact that each step comprises action by both parties, it takes forever.)

By being "cute" and "witty" (where responding as in the above quotes is actually neither cute nor witty), you only indicate your inability to understand the question and its purpose.

You read that right. It's not that the person has chosen to not answer the question. (I could respect, though not agree, with that choice.) It's the fact that they took time to tap out a brief, meaningless response that illustrates their total and complete lack of comprehension. I have yet to selectively not-select (i.e., eliminate) a match based solely on such a non-response, but do not doubt that any answers like the ones above go in the "minus" column. If I reject based on spelling or grammar, you better believe I'd consider rejecting for idiocy or stupid answers like the ones above.

I'm still being matched with social workers and teachers, though I was also recently matched with a waitress (aspiring marketer) and law student. I'm dubious about dating a law student. Been there, done that, know that it's Hell (law school that is). However, my reason for not initiating with the law student in question was that she's very much into the outdoors and, although I used to be and probably would enjoy it, I'm generally not.

I'm starting to suspect that the majority of eHarmony women in the age bracket (22-32) and location (CT) I've specified are... (how do I phrase this delicately?) not very smart. I'm looking for an intelligent woman. She doesn't have to have attended law school. She doesn't have to be an "A" student (I sure wasn't, at least in law school). She doesn't have to be working, in her spare time, on cold fusion as the solution to the world's energy crisis. However, she does have to be at least moderately well-spoken and bright. Thus far, at least 75% of the matches eHarmony has sent me fail in this one regard. It's positively painful at times.

But I s'pose I'm patient or at least I can pretend to be or at least in this regard I can pretend to be. So it goes and so I keep looking.


ADDENDUM: Two other women I was matched with - a musician and an actress. In fact, the actress is Ellen Muth of the short-lived series Dead Like Me. She closed the match stating she was pursuing another relationship. I wish the reply options weren't so limited - I'd have loved to say "You were great in 'Dead Like Me'!" instead of "Good luck with your search." [12:52 PM]


ADDENDUM II: In reviewing, I realized that I didn't actually opine on what kind of answers the eHarmony g-ds were looking for. Here's my theory:

Most of the questions are directed to revealing general impressions about yourself and what you're looking for. The questions are very open-ended and could be bent to any one of a dozen different directions. They are there as talking points – to incite the writer to reveal something.

So what is this particular question ("One thing that only [person]'s best friends know is:") directed towards? Rather than trying to get the writer to disclose a dark, hidden secret (e.g., in my spare time I kill puppies for fun and profit), I think this question is trying to shift the vantage point (the point-of-view). I don't think the question should read "One thing that only [person]'s best friends know is:" I think the question really asks "One thing that only [person]'s best friends know is:" In other words, What is something your friends have learned about you? How would they describe you?

My answer was very succinct: "I will try (almost) anything once, twice if I like it."

My (best) friends know that I am up for (almost) anything. If they say: "Let's go to Mohegan Sun!" then I say: "Who's driving?!" If they say: "Let's go to a strip club!" then I say: "Where's the nearest one?!" (Incidentally, those are somewhat accurate quotes from law school.) Half the time I'm the one who proposes some relatively-outlandish course. My answer to the question reflects something that is not secretive but instead reflects something that my best friends might say in describing me. My answer also reveals something more about myself (as all of the answers should).

I almost wish the question was phrased better. I suspect that the intent was either (a) to be as vague as possible to enable many answers; or (b) to ask the writer to reveal something from their friend's p.o.v. I don't think the question succeeds on either level, as evidenced by the clear misinterpretation by many writers. The question cannot be asking the writer to reveal a secret as that is plain idiocy. I give the eHarmony g-ds more credit than that. After all, they are omniscient. (Right?)

By the way, I do not kill puppies for fun and profit in my spare time... just kittens.. and bunny rabbits. [5:44 PM]
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Tuesday, February 06, 2007

The Non-Continuing Saga

Previously, I described The December-to-February Pit of Despair (The Pit). As it so happens The Pit is in full force and effect and I'm in the pits. I'm just generally unmotivated and uninterested these days.

For example, here's my initial morning ritual of late:
  • Wake up 1.
  • Am I going to stay awake?
  • Nope.
  • Set alarm for another 10 min.
  • Wake up 2.
  • Am I going to stay awake?
  • Ponder this for 15 sec.
  • Decide to get up.
  • Sit up in bed.
  • Wish I didn't have to get up yet.
  • Wish I weren't going to work today.
  • Pause.
  • Wipe crust from eyes.
  • Pause again.
  • Blink.
  • Get out of bed.
I've been doing that for about 5 weeks now, no joking.

My concentration is shot to Hell. I have little-to-no focus. My thinking ranges from acute to duller than a weathered log, based on nothing in particular. Two weekends ago, I hung out with The Actuary and his g/f Gamer Girl – we and two friends of theirs saw the movie Smokin' Aces. I was hoping some activity might help shake me from my ostensibly self-induced stupor. Alas, it did not.

I didn't change my diet. I didn't initially change my slate of non-work activities. I don't know that there was a single causative agent for this. I also don't know how to snap out of it any time soon (i.e., asap).

So, for now, I muddle my way through. I'm generally not happy nor remotely content. I hate how I feel but don't know how to kick it. It's really rather odd and occasionally disconcerting. But I also don't care too much so I figure it will eventually pass and I'll be, well, I don't know where I'll be but it won't be here and it won't be as I am now.

So it goes.
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Friday, February 02, 2007

This Week in Miscelleny VII

This Week's Anthem: (World of Warcraft Theme Music)


Miscellaneous Miscellany:


Quotes:

Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
-- Jandon of Lightbringer (WoW Paladin Forum)



Overheards:

Overheard 1:
Cube worker #1: I think I found the secret project.

Cube worker #2: Mine?

Cube worker #1: You have a secret project?

Cube worker #2: Uh, no.
Two:
IT guy #1: What is boxing day, anyway?

IT guy #2: Well, I Wikipedia-ed it and could only gather that it either has to do with killing birds, beating up servant girls, or selling off Christmas stuff nobody wants.
Three:
Man to female coworker: I don't think you understand -- you brought in fried chicken for us. This gesture is a little more serious than, 'I can tolerate your presence,' and quite honestly, I'm not sure if I'm ready to take our relationship to that level.


Old Miscellany:

This Week in Miscelleny I
This Week in Miscellany II
This Week in Miscellany III
This Week in Miscellany IV
This Week in Miscellany V
This Week in Miscelleny VI (there is no VI)
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Friday, January 19, 2007

This Week in Miscellany V

This Week's Anthems: The Dresden Dolls' "Delilah", "Coin-operated Boy" and "Good Day"


Miscellaneous Miscellany:


Quotes:

"You can't overestimate the value of low standards." -- Scott Adams

"We've 'tried everything,' by which we mean we've tried a few things that everybody else has done as long as they didn't involve doing anything differently from what we normally do." -- Scott (via Seth Godin)



Overheards:

One:
Flight attendant: ... We don't expect a change in cabin pressure, but if it does occur, a designer oxygen mask will be released in front of you. Secure the mask on yourself first, then, if you are traveling with children, put a mask on the child with the most potential, then put a mask on the other one...

Mother passenger: [Gasps, horrified.]

Flight attendant: ... This is a non-smoking flight, but if you do decide to smoke, we will have you reseated on the wing of the plane where you can watch our feature presentation of Bye Bye Birdie or Gone with the Wind...
Two:
Designer: You shot the Rubik's Cube contest?

Photographer: Yeah. It was like watching fat, naked men greased up in butter sumo wrestling. You don't want to watch, but you can't look away.

Designer: ... You know, most people use the metaphor, 'It was like watching a train wreck,' but you took it to a really dark place.


Old Miscellany:

This Week in Miscelleny I
This Week in Miscellany II
This Week in Miscellany III
This Week in Miscellany IV
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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

"It burns! It burns!!!" or "How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Burning Crusade"

Yesterday, The Burning Crusade (TBC), an expansion pack for World of Warcraft (WoW), was released. As it happened, I left work early to meet up with a repairman at home (for our garbage disposal) so I had time to install and play TBC.

Unlike many others, I had no problems with the install. No CD issues. No patching issues (I had a 159 MB patch already downloaded so all I needed to do was download the 2.5 MB one that followed... which took about 10-15 min. with the Blizzard Downloader.) Also, since I was doing all this in early afternoon, I was even able to sign on and poke around the new zones. (*GASP!*) I include this last bit because later on, my server was down for a long time (at least from 8-9 PM).

TBC comes with two new races (one each for Horde and Alliance), new crafting recipes and new zones (6-7) and dungeons (all oriented for levels 60-70, though). This means that the new content, at first, is primarily going to be about leveling. Figuring things would be overcrowded on the first day/night (if not for the first month+), I decided to ride around the new zones exploring and getting flight paths. I rode around/through 4 of the new zones.

The first thing I noticed was that the new zones are gorgeous. It's clear that Blizzard had a lot of fun with them. They look very different and just generally cool. One is rocky (reminiscent of The Blasted Lands), one is laden with weird plant growths and critters, one is grassy with huge gorges and ravines and the fourth is very dark and chaotic. There are 2-3 other zones I didn't hit, primarily because they would be near-instant death for me at this level (60). Even so, one of the ones I did hit had some level 67-68 monsters kill me once.

One interesting observation is that I need tons more gold. It cost 10g each to raise my cap for two professions (Tailoring and Enchanting). I didn't even bother buying recipes as I couldn't rightly afford them. I did get the First Aid books but that cost another 5-8g. I'm really strapped for coin and I need a lot of it. Chances are I'll make some good coin once I start leveling, grinding, questing and finding things.

My initial impression is that the expansion looks like fun. There's a lot to explore, do, see and learn. For me, since I have two level 60's and a burgeoning 33 Warrior, I have some options. I can level one or both 60's to 70, work on their tradeskills, go for instances, work on my Warrior or take on new tradeskills with my Warrior. Considering I'm broke, I can probably only afford (right now) to work on leveling one of my 60's. Unfortunately, my Warlock is the only one with a fast mount and her gear is rather good (meaning it will be quite a few levels before she gets many upgrades). I'd probably rather work on my Paladin but he could really use a mount and that's not happening any time soon.

So I'll probably work on my Warlock if/when I can. Maybe work on my Warrior when the new zones are so crowded you can't throw a stone without hitting 10 other people. Really, the key is to be patient and relaxed. If it's too busy right now, back off and wait a bit. Of course, I don't want to wait so we'll have to see what happens. Initially I was thinking of ignoring the new zones for a month and working on my Warrior but now, I don't know. They look like fun!

ADDENDUM: At 9:30 PM last night, when it became apparent that I would not be getting on one of my preexisting characters on Argent Dawn, I opted to make a Blood Elf Paladin on the recommended RP server (Moon-something). Needless to say, the BElf youngling area was positively thriving with freshly-made BElves.

A few quick comments on that. One, just as NElfs (Night Elves) have a fun spin animation (head-over-heels) that randomly "procs" on a jump, BElfs have this funky whirlwind-spin animation that, similarly, randomly procs on a jump. Two, the Mana Tap racial ability gives Paladins (well, all BElfs, to be fair) a once-every-30-sec. ranged pulling option for enemies that have a mana bar. Three, I must be masochistic to make another Paladin.

Not that I actually intend to level up a BElf Pally to 60. Well, not yet at least. I am sorely tempted, however, because I haven't played the Horde side yet and BElfs, especially female ones, look very cool. I think a female BElf Pally could be fun, maybe one on a fresh, relatively low-population server. Maybe I am very masochistic. (3:13 PM)
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This Week in Miscellany IV

This Last Week's Album: Evanescence's The Open Door

Yeah, this post is about five days late. Too bad.

Miscellaneous Miscellany:

Patent Learning Resources:

Quotes:

"What the Hell? That guy just chucked a scone at my head."
"Yeah, you don't want to insult baristas. They're like urban ninjas." -- PvPonline (1/08/07)

"Nobody knows shit. We're pinning ethereal tails on ephemeral donkeys." -- Tycho (PennyArcade 1/08/07)

"If the industrial revolution has taught me anything, it's that we're all replaceable." -- Diesel Sweeties (1/09/07) (Yes, I am purposefully omitting the follow up lines: "Except for you and me. We're special!")

"Did you bring your own massage table or should I just get naked and sprawl on a desk?" -- Dilbert (1/11/07)

So many quotes from Say Anything should be added to my quotes page...


Overheards:
No quoting this week. Not going to take the time.

One, Two, Three, Four and Five.


Old Miscellany:

This Week in Miscelleny I
This Week in Miscellany II
This Week in Miscellany III
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Monday, January 15, 2007

I'm so _____ it hurts!

Initially I was going to start off with something like "man, I've been emo of late" or "I'm feeling real emo these days" but then I tried to figure out what "emo" actually means (I like to understand what I write... sometimes) and I was waylaid by the internets and a traveling pack of whiney, self-obsessed, neurotic boys. They dragged me to their underground, candle-lit lair (which, apparently, also doubles as a sewer). Anyway, once we arrived, they debated whether to sacrifice me to their dark lord or read me their poetry. (For the record, I lobbied for the sacrifice.) While they were distracted by their cleric's monologue on self-perpetuating stereotypes, I managed to chew through my bindings and sneak away. I found a manhole that led me back to aboveground. A shower and some fresh clothes later, the stench was all but a memory.

Yeah, good luck deciphering that one.
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Thursday, January 11, 2007

The Ah-hah Moment

I'll be toiling along on a work-related something, attempting to process whatever the Hell it is the inventors thought was so damn fascinating and exciting that it deserved to be patented. Pouring over the various documents, searching the internet, rifling through references, I work on figuring out what the inventors are trying to say to me. Then, without warning...

AH-HAH!

It strikes! The Ah-hah Moment hits me like a magical pile of bricks falling from the heavens. (And sometimes it feels like that, too!) All of a sudden, and often based on no particular phrase or sentence, everything becomes clear. It is as if I finally cleaned my glasses or that ugly, pea-soup-thick fog has finally lifted and now I can see everything clearly.

Internally, I nod my head and think: "So that's what this is all about!" Then I smile to myself and continue reading, only now with an eye to what I should say about the invention to the Examiner.
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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

I was

12 years ago, I was still heady from our marching band's unexpected win at championships.

11 years ago, I was contemplating colleges and the numerous visitations that would subsequently follow.

10 years ago, I was finishing high school, involved in a myriad of activities including jazz band, yearbook and the bicentennial team.

9 years ago, I was fondly recalling and anticipating the fantastic party atmosphere that, unknowingly, manages to evaporate between semesters.

8 years ago, I was hoping against hope that our plan had worked and the fraternity would have over twenty pledges for the following semester. (We had six.)

7 years ago, I was leaving on a jet plane for London to begin my six months of study abroad.

6 years ago, I was building a fire-fighting robot to compete in a competition and use as my Senior thesis/writing requirement.

5 years ago, I was attempting to remain sane while living at home and working.

4 years ago, I was dreading the upcoming resumption of law school Hell although I was also looking forward to seeing my friends again.

3 years ago, I was looking forward to seeing my friends again (I no longer feared law school).

2 years ago, I was wondering if I would get an offer from my part-time employer. (I did not.)

1 year ago, I was trying to learn what a patent agent does and improve on what I had already learned.

Currently, I am... (unsuccessfully) trying to focus.
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Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Random Thoughts For Random Times

My best friend from college (my roommate for 2.5 years) is getting married. Congratulations!!! Although we've only met up a few times since college, he is definitely a good friend and someone on this planet who knows me better than most others. I will definitely have to visit him and his fiancée sometime in the next few months.

I have been very recalcitrant of late. What does that mean? Other than being perfectly descriptive, I have no clue either.

In an e-mail to a random stranger, I described a brief incident from the annals of my high school days. I'm not entirely sure why I chose to relate it. Sometimes I am apt to share rather personal things with complete strangers. Maybe such revelations serve as an interesting semi-summary of me whereas my close friends need no such telling incidents – they know who I am (sort of). Then again, much of this blog comprises sharing rather personal things with complete strangers, so there you go!

I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Recently I've been working on my Favorite Artists page/links. It is growing beyond the 5 initial entries. Check it out if so inclined.

I am contemplating investigating purchasing comic book-related art. The only problem would be the concomitant increase in my dispensable income (i.e., the cost).

I want some chocolate.

Why is it that the majority of the profiles I read on eHarmony contain a few grammatical and/or spelling errors? Do people not proofread? Do people not care? Are the people I'm being matched with ones who are wont to not proofread or not care? Seriously, I have opted to not initiate contact with a few women because their profile has too many grammar/spelling errors in it (and that's while trying very hard to ignore the non-capitalization of "I").

A coworker and I (capitalized, hah!) were discussing the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame over lunch. At the end, I noted how we had approached it as patent attorneys/scientists – considering criteria, devising tests, examining example groups/performers against the criteria to see how it works, etc. One of his responses was that we were devising A Method for Induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Rather disheartening.

If I can correctly spell "disheartening" whereas some eHarmony people have trouble spelling "have," am I in trouble?

Ooh! I have had a chocolate truffle left over...

This could be why I've been quasi-addicted to chocolate milk in the past.

Mmmm... chocolate milk...

I <3 tangential tangents.

I have stacks of work to do. Stacks. It seems like work comes in waves. A period of catching up followed by a period of many deadlines. I've been stuck in the "many deadlines" one since the beginning of December. It won't go away until I catch up on the things put off then and now approaching overdue (i.e., maybe in February or March).

I wonder if they make a plush Bucky Katt (from Get Fuzzy, of course).

By the by, I have a Get Fuzzy daily calendar. My coworker friend has a daily Dilbert one. Thus, we can share between us and duly deprive the manufacturer, publisher, creator et al. from additional royalties. This must be a theft of some kind, or so, I am sure, the RIAA would likely have me believe. If it is of further consolation, I bought mine at half price. (Zing!)

And poof! There went the post!
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Monday, January 08, 2007

Briefly of T-Shirts

I received my two dieselsweeties t-shirts in the mail today. (Man is he prompt with orders!) I got bacon is a vegetable and nothing says emo like emoticon. I know it was a gamble but I was anticipating that I'd get some of the canceled shirts like robot jesus (i.e., the one that does NOT resemble R2-D2) or such. Instead I got regular DS shirts. Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking it - they cost me less than normal and it was a grab bag so I really had no guarantee that I'd get specific shirts, but these weren't the sort of shirts the offer had mentioned. I don't know, maybe he ran out of those and filled in the remaining orders with "regular" DS shirts.
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Sunday, January 07, 2007

The Dresden Dolls In Repose

Yesterday, The Actuary, his girlfriend (henceforth referred to as "Gamer Girl" or GG for short), a longtime friend of GG's (Longtime Friend) and myself went to Cambridge, MA to see The Dresden Dolls perform.

The Lead Up: I had heard of The Dresden Dolls, and listened to 30-second clips of their songs, before learning of this "concert." I decided that I would go, on my own or with others, just because I had the sense that it might be "something interesting." In preparation for the event, I purchased and listened to The Dresden Dolls' two albums. I also got The Actuary and Gamer Girl (her Longtime Friend subsequently asked to join us if possible) to come with me to this unknown.

This was not a concert. It was a performance art piece. Oh they played 6-8 of their songs, but it was primarily acting (i.e., vignettes) interspersed between the musical tracks. A story or two or three or four was told in this process. A girl estranged from her father died in a drunk driving crash (when she was growing up, she collected tears). Onion Boy and Mute Girl met and fell in love (palm-licking ensued). A bartender revealed his attraction to a bear suit-wearing coworker. The wife in an out-of-town couple revealed that she could not have children. A man tied-up in tape was trapped and seeking assistance by dialing with his head (he also once spoke with a mute, drum-playing penguin). A man revealed his days as a child when his opera-loving father would yell at him for crying.

There were a number of themes to the performance. Tragedy. Sadness. Loneliness. Love. Secrets. Stories. Crying.

At one time, they passed out pieces of paper for the audience members to write on. Each paper contained a question. Mine: "When was the last time you cried? Answer now." My answer: "About 6 years ago, shortly after my dad died." Apparently they take all the papers (they have different questions printed on them) and put them on the wall in the hallway of the building. Very Post Secret.

Inarguably, the performance was designed to provoke a reaction in the audience. A very personal, heartfelt reaction. It succeeded immensely. Every one of us walked away with something - some thought, some reaction, some reflection, something.

Me? For me it was an artistic work that reminded me of tragedy, sadness and secrets. It had me thinking about my dad. Thinking when I last truly cried and why. Reflecting on my loneliness and my "search" to abate said loneliness. It had me contemplating my growing up, my youth. Lots of internal conversations and reactions.

For their part, The Dresden Dolls were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic! Love their music or hate it, you have to admit that the two of them are incredibly talented. Amanda can sing. She is fantastic. Her voice, the songs, the lyrics. Brian can drum and play the guitar. The two of them are so impassioned that it comes through their music ever so clearly. They are amazing. Musicians through and through but more - artists. And they love their art. Very passionate. It makes listening to their CDs now rather hard since I've seen them live and the flat recordings almost don't do them justice. To see her pounding on the keyboard. To see him pounding on the drums. The two of them feed off each other. They catch cues from each other. Funny, passionate, wonderful. It works. It works so well. Just amazing to behold.

If you have the opportunity, whether for this series of performances at The Onion Cellar or another time, GO SEE THE DRESDEN DOLLS. They are that good, that talented, that worth it. So worth it. So good. Amazing.
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