The Non-Continuing Saga

Previously, I described The December-to-February Pit of Despair (The Pit). As it so happens The Pit is in full force and effect and I'm in the pits. I'm just generally unmotivated and uninterested these days.

For example, here's my initial morning ritual of late:

• Wake up 1.
• Am I going to stay awake?
• Nope.
• Set alarm for another 10 min.
• Wake up 2.
• Am I going to stay awake?
• Ponder this for 15 sec.
• Decide to get up.
• Sit up in bed.
• Wish I didn't have to get up yet.
• Wish I weren't going to work today.
• Pause.
• Wipe crust from eyes.
• Pause again.
• Blink.
• Get out of bed.

I've been doing that for about 5 weeks now, no joking.

My concentration is shot to Hell. I have little-to-no focus. My thinking ranges from acute to duller than a weathered log, based on nothing in particular. Two weekends ago, I hung out with The Actuary and his g/f Gamer Girl – we and two friends of theirs saw the movie Smokin' Aces. I was hoping some activity might help shake me from my ostensibly self-induced stupor. Alas, it did not.

I didn't change my diet. I didn't initially change my slate of non-work activities. I don't know that there was a single causative agent for this. I also don't know how to snap out of it any time soon (i.e., asap).

So, for now, I muddle my way through. I'm generally not happy nor remotely content. I hate how I feel but don't know how to kick it. It's really rather odd and occasionally disconcerting. But I also don't care too much so I figure it will eventually pass and I'll be, well, I don't know where I'll be but it won't be here and it won't be as I am now.

So it goes.