Stream of [Mad] Thought

I'm so unsettled right now, it's unsettling. It feels like a Sunday because I had half of Friday off thanks to the white, fluffy stuff. (Snow, damnit!) I'm awake but only half. I feel like I should be doing something, perhaps even something meaningful, yet I'm unable to figure out what that is. I'm currently tired of my current computer game but I also know I shouldn't waste my time with that crap. I feel like I should be creating something in my spare time, something with a vision, yet my artistic talents (aside perhaps from writing) are only a hair better than a 5th grader's. By the way, that new show "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" Yeah, I am. I spent too much money today on getting things framed to be hung/shown even though I have no great place in which to hang/show them. I spend money like it's water and drink water like it's.. well, water. I feel like I can see things that others don't, and I don't mean dead people like in "Sixth Sense." I mean just things. I swear I have some vision of something somewhere within me but I just don't know how to bring it out/about. It's almost like I'm an artist without a medium - the right medium just hasn't been invented yet. It's St. Patrick's Day and I'm home and sober. Maybe tomorrow I'll watch a few of the dozens of movies I have yet to watch that I own. I'm tired but refuse to sleep. I open my web browser and don't know why. I'm looking for something but I don't know what. Privately I second guess myself on stupid things. I almost regret my previous post about movie.girl. And yeah, I didn't get in touch with The Lawless One as I said I would. ~//~