It's been rough the past few months. January was good, but it's been downhill ever since. I've been fairly angsty of late. Where am I going? What will I do? How will I get there? (Not that I know where "there" is, of course.) How does one measure "success"? Time progresses and I do not.
Work suffers, WoW playing increases. About a month ago I took stock of my finances. Since then I've attempted to curtail expenses, though Memorial Day sales enticed me to pick up more clothes and, thus, my expenses haven't significantly diminished.
I sit at my computer and--
I'm not sure what to do, how to kick start the inevitable upswing. I measure my current status by my work barometer. This has strong correlations to income and perceived job security. Income to pay off accruing debt. Job security for a job I am unconvinced I want to retain. Circles and circles, but circles don't lead to new patterns. I'm still waiting for a light bulb of inspiration.
It's probably not so dark and dismal a painting, but too often it can feel that way, painted in shades of fear and uncertainty. Probably why diversion is such a central tenet for me. Movies, music, books, graphic novels, computer games and board games.
I know I will break free from this, I just don't know when or where. Not right now, not today, not here. (But soon?)