Re: last night
It was very lightly drizzling out. Around 12:20 am-ish. The world collapsed to the moment. Lasted around 15-30 sec. or so? (Not that brief.) After, looked at each other and said "goodnight."
When I said what I did, she was taken completely off guard. Surprise evident on her face. Closely (only a second or two?) followed by a "yes," after which we approached each other.
In 21, there's a scene where, sitting next to Kate Bosworth on the subway (Boston), the main character (Jim Sturgess) leans in to kiss her and she's surprised, taken back and declines. With that in mind (for some reason), I didn't want to just try the "lean in" at her door. Not sure I like that technique (a la Hitch) nor did I want to put her in that position (per se). So I went for courage instead. Not sure where I found the courage. I just sort of blurted it out when we had nothing left to say to each other.
But it worked. It was weird and brave, and unusual I think, but it worked. She knows I can be very random. Around her, I tend to be wry and witty and observationally random. Sometimes she chimes in, sometimes she laughs.
The signs. We were chatting a little outside her building while it very lightly drizzled (a bit more than misting). She didn't make a quick move to go in. She paused, first to talk and then at the brief pause that I jumped on. Had her keys in hand. But paused. Not sure what she was expecting me to do, if anything. Maybe.. well, maybe she was consciously or unconsciously creating an opportunity for me, e.g., for a "lean in" or for something akin to what I said? But she was visibly surprised. Hmmm.
The lead up was me driving us back to her apt. I did a u-turn and pulled up at the curb in front of her door (maybe 10' from her door). I said that I'd walk her to her door and turned off the car. (She made some comment about getting mugged or such in the distance from the car to her door.) She must have known that I would "try" something. Maybe that was why she paused? Not expecting me to do what I did exactly, but knew I would do something?
I'm in like at the moment. Not obsessing. Not imagining. One interesting point is that her location is very fluid. Come July, she's moving to MA for a production. Thereafter her whereabouts are currently unknown. She has choices, including Indiana and Stamford, so she may or may not come back to the area. Undecided as yet. She's been very up front about that and the fact that she moves around a lot, from theatre to theatre, show to show. The Stamford gig was relatively longer, lasting about a year. Me, I'm just taking this as it goes. We'll see what happens in the future, but I'm not worrying about it yet.
Was questioning whether to post this publicly or leave as a draft (such that it would be unavailable to the public but I could read it). Decided to post publicly. Will not remain as the top post on the page. I think the above comments are interesting and lay out more context for things. Not terribly dangerous. Private but not inherently so and not really telling of much beyond my impressions. If things progress further, you can expect such to not be detailed here.